A new baby takes most of your time leaving you exhausted and tired. Making time for love and romance could seem to be a distant dream for most new parents, but if you look at it, these are the very things that will relax and calm you as well. Though sex is the last thing on a new parent’s mind, once you are ready and up for it, we’d say you should venture out. That is because sex relaxes and rejuvenates your body like nothing else, plus it strengthens the bond between the two of you.
When Is It Safe To Have Sex After A Baby?
The general recommended waiting time is about 4 weeks if you have had a delivery without any bruises or injuries. In the latter case, it is advised to wait till 6 weeks or until your doctor gives a thumbs up. Though you can still cuddle, hug, kiss and feel close to each other, it is strictly advised not to indulge in penetration till the time you are bleeding. This is because while you are dealing with Lochia, you also run high for a risk of hemorrhage or uterine infection. It is also common to have low libido levels following weeks after the delivery, so put sex on hold till you feel up for it. Baby blues and constant baby needs can keep you exhausted and occupied, so indulge in lovemaking when you really feel like. And do not worry, sex will be as satisfying as it was in the days before the baby. For details on sex life after delivery, click here.
8 Amazing Sex Secrets For New Parents
A baby will intensify your feelings for each other, and you may want to enhance sexual intimacy. Though a baby makes you less available for each other both in emotional and physical aspects, you can still spark up your sex life (yet again!) with the following eight sex secrets.
- See sex in new light: If you are not in the mood for sex in the real sense, make small gestures and attempts to each other reminding that you are not just parents, but a couple too. Kiss, cuddle, feel each other or just watch your partner taking pleasure all by himself. Some women just get into the mood by seeing the effect their presence can make when their partners pleasure themselves
- Venture out of the bedroom: Sex in the bedroom can be boring and routine. Plus with the baby sleeping in the bedroom, it makes all the more sense to use that sofa, the rug or even the kitchen top to have sex. The shower is again an excellent way to kick on the libido levels
- Naptime sex: Women tend to use naptimes for completing the household works or catch up on life and events. If you get too tired by the evenings, sex on weekends when the baby is fast asleep can be thrilling and rejuvenating. Plus your spouse is home to give you some time off the baby. Not only will you get relaxed, but will also be happy at how easily you squeezed the intimate time even with the baby around
- Talk it out: New parents talk a lot, but the talks generally revolve around baby expenditure, new things that the baby learnt, frustrations, baby vaccinations and baby all the way. Chalk out some time for conversations that lighten up your mood and take you back in your days. Talk about how you were as a couple earlier, things you enjoyed and did together, and spark up each other’s mood. When the mood is there, can good sex be far behind?
- The ‘Date Night’ concept: This is a wonderful way to hit each other’s soft spots. Chalk out a ‘date night’ every few days and ask a friend, or relatives to baby sit. You can even hire a baby sitter. Catch a movie, go for dinner, or just go to a park and enjoy the sun set. Ban all baby talk, and you will feel close to each other again. No wonder it will set you in mood for sex and you can’t wait to get back home and be intimate!
- Seduce and heat up: If you are keen to spice up your sex life as it was before the baby came along the way, then talking a bit dirty and seducing each other can go a long way. If you are home, send your partner texts that say what you would like to do to him when he is back. Or he can leave you love notes around the house to make you feel all wanted and sexy. These little things will heat up both of you and you will be impatient to do each other
- Take off ‘the baby is here’ burden: Your baby sleeps in your room? Her cot lies next to your bed and you cannot even dream of having sex till she is around? Why? Your baby is fast asleep and she doesn’t really care of her parents are making love! Your child has no idea what you are doing and you can simply shrug such thoughts off
- Nothing works, ask directly: If none of the simple things seem to work for you, you can simply try and talk it out with your partner. Sometimes, men feel the need to be so caring and sensitive that they rule out the sexual aspect altogether. Sit him down and tell him how much you miss your intimate times, and before you know it, you will be in the bed. Similarly, men should take up a positive approach too, instead of negative attacking their partners. A healthy sex life after a baby is not a luxury, it is a necessity and very much doable
Some women feel that it is difficult to switch from the role of a mother to a lover, but a conscious approach to your relationship with your partner can make things work easily for you. Be patient, be understanding and be assured, your intimate life will return and it will be as satisfying as it was before having the baby. Has your sex life dropped after a baby? Find out here.