Onlooker Play – Why is it Importance and Top Ways to Encourage

Also known as spectator play, onlooker play is an important part of a toddler’s development. It is a phase where the toddler just watches others play without joining in.

In onlooker play, a toddler will just stay close by and observe how others are playing. Here, the intention is to just watch and observe from a safe distance without joining in. Sometimes, they may engage in conversations – to answer questions directed at them or to ask questions, for better understanding.

As kids grow, learn to communicate, and interact with the world around them, their solitary play will become more social. It will involve both playing and communicating with others. Toddlers learn a lot about the world around them through play. Onlooker play will slowly evolve into parallel play, then associative play, and finally reach a cooperative play stage.

[Read : Parallel Play in Toddlers]

When Does Onlooker Play Begin?

You may notice your 1 or 2-year-old toddler who used to play very actively by themselves, is suddenly quiet and stands by the side when you take them to the park or a play area where other children are playing. The onlooker play stage starts around this time. When you expose them to other kids playing, they start observing.

Onlooker play will start when your toddler is old enough to comprehend what is happening around them. This usually happens when they are 2.5 years old. It can extend from 2.5 years to 3.5 years of age.

Why is Onlooker Play Important?

As a parent, you may want your toddler to go and play with others, socialize, and communicate. Onlooker play is very important for your toddler’s development and you should encourage it for the following reasons-

• Opens new learning opportunities
• Develops their language and communication
• Improves emotional regulation and socializing skills
• Helps them feel more confident about self
• Stimulates creativity and imagination
• Develops problem-solving and observational skills
• Teaches new physical skills

[Read : Developing Social Skills In Your Toddler]

Benefits of Onlooker Play

Let’s get a little deeper into the benefits of onlooker play, to understand how and why you should let your toddler just observe others at times. Some benefits are-

• It helps your toddler develop cognitive, observational, problem-solving, gross motor, fine motor, and communication skills
• When they watch, learn, and try to mimic what their peers are doing, their brains are connecting and recreating. This is very important for learning in school and in general as kids grow up
• When they take their time, communicate, and understand in their own capacity, it makes them feel more confident about themselves and their abilities
• They learn to play and use toys in different ways. You may teach them just one or two ways but observing how other children play gives them an opportunity to test their physical abilities and improve the same

Top 6 Ways to Encourage Your Toddler During Onlooker Play

As parents, you want your toddler to learn, mingle, play, and have fun. It may test your patience to see your toddler just stand by the side and watch others play without actively participating. Here is how you can support them-

1. Give Space

Give your toddler the space to follow their thoughts and interests. Instead of verbally pushing them to go and play with others, just let them be. Give them the space to just be themselves and learn at their own pace. Without interference, their brain will connect the dots, retain details, and put them into perspective.

2. Trust

Trust your toddler and let them do what they want. They are quiet and not playing for a reason and as a parent, you should trust their decision. Trusting their decision will not only encourage onlooker play but will also improve their self-confidence. It is very important for problem-solving and decision-making as they grow up.

3. Offer Encouragement

Offer small words of encouragement from time to time. Encourage them to go closer, ask questions or play with the other toddlers. Some toddlers can be shy and may need just a little nudge to take the first step. If they resist, step back and just let them be.

4. Try to Understand

Try to understand their point of view. As adults, even we take our time and have reservations when we need to enter a group or mingle with others. Just like how we observe and wait for the right moment to step in, toddlers do too. Try to understand why they are not participating and prefer to observe instead.

5. Ask Leading Questions

You can start by asking leading questions. Ask them why they like to watch what they are watching, if they are finding it interesting, if they are scared, what they think other toddlers are doing, etc. These questions will give you a better understanding and can help them get a perspective of what is happening in front of them.

6. Set Boundaries

You cannot let your toddler watch and observe everything. Some play methods and ideas may not suit their age or your ideologies. Set boundaries and expand them as your toddler grows or develops. This will help you encourage onlooker play in a fruitful direction.

7. Take Cues

Watch your toddler closely. Take cues from what interests them, what scares them or makes them uncomfortable, etc. If your toddler is not playing with the new toys you bought but wants to watch the neighbors’ kids playing with something very different, then maybe that is what interests them.

For example – some 3-year-olds may like building towers while some may like to play with mechanic sets that involve nuts and bolts. Try buying them items that interest them to see if they will play with them on their own.

Examples of Onlooker Play Activity

Still not clear about onlooker play? Here are a few examples you may notice in your own toddler or kids around you-

• Observing other toddlers make sand castles on the beach rather than making one themselves or asking the parents to build one
• Watching older children play some game in the park rather than play on the swing or other equipment around

Onlooker play is an integral part of a toddler’s development. While many parents may mistake it as their toddler being shy or scared to play with others, it is just a phase. Toddlers learn a lot by observing and this is an effective learning technique in that angle.

[Read : How Do You Know if Your Baby is Shy?]

FAQ’s

1. Is Onlooker Play Normal?

Yes. Onlooker play is perfectly normal and an important part of your toddler’s development. It is healthy and nothing to be worried about.

2. Should I Encourage Onlooker Play?

Yes, it can benefit your toddler in many ways. It can teach them many new things and aid development on many fronts.

3. Do Toddlers Benefit From Onlooker Play?

Yes, it can help in developing cognitive, emotional, and social skills. It can also help them communicate and make friends without parental interference.

Read Also: Functional Play For Toddlers – Why is it Important and Top Ways to Encourage