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Every parent experiences moments when their child appears to be completely out of control, much to the chagrin of those around, and of course cutting a sorry picture in public. These moments of lack of emotional control in the child are certainly upsetting, embarrassing, intimidating and saddening, and are true testing times for parents of toddlers and older children. Let us get to know some interesting facts about tantrums. These information pieces will help us arrive at understanding tantrums, and certainly when to give in and when not to, during a tantrum!
In simple terms, tantrums are how children, in the age group of 2-5 years, react to complicated and difficult emotions. Tantrums are common during the second year of your child’s life as their language skills begin to develop. The crying, screaming, yelling, wailing, sobbing, kicking, falling, throwing themselves to the ground, stiffening up, arching backward, flailing, running about aimlessly, throwing things and so on are reactions to the emotions that they do not comprehend, and hence cannot express how they feel. As your child’s language skills improve, tantrums die down.
You may be surprised to learn that tantrums in toddlers and older children actually follow a pattern and are quite predictable. They come in all shapes and size, and are most likely to happen in the following situations:
Sometimes, giving in to your toddler’s tantrums might seem the best solution to your tenuous sanity levels, at that moment. As goes the age-old adage, you must be wise enough to pick your battles. Where there’s no chance of winning, there’s no point of putting up a fight. For example, in a situation where your priority is getting to a place on time, and your toddler has launched into a tantrum for something they want; give in – albeit, quickly. Do not deny it first and then hand it over to them. This sends a wrong message, a lasting one at that. They interpret this action as your approval after persistent pestering to get whatever they demand. They will replicate it every time they need something, and you might just have to give in every time. This behavior and reason to throw a tantrum will get hardwired in their brains.
Also, sometimes as a parent we overload our children with too many rules, regulations, dos and don’ts. Young children cannot fathom the importance of these protocols. They feel stifled and when it comes to a point where they cannot understand how to express or vent out their feelings, they throw a fit in the form of a violent tantrum. These are times when we need to loosen up a little, give in to their tantrums. Modeling good behavior can also be done by giving in to your child’s tantrums, once in a while.
There is no ideal response to a tantrum. There are multiple ways of dealing with children’s tantrums.
It is our reactions and responses during these heated moments that shape the characters and behaviors of our children. So, keep your calm, preserve your composure, and remember to maintain a positive environment in the house!
Does your child throw tantrums? How do you handle it? Do share your experiences in the comments section below.
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