Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.
— Tina Fey
The lines above truly capture the essence of motherhood, don’t they? Motherhood is a joyous, rich and rewarding experience in itself, but it also brings about its own fair shares of anger, frustrations, squabbles and the like. Ask any mom whether she is happy, and the spontaneous answer will be a ‘yes’. Ask them to go into some details and most moms will start telling you about how difficult it is to parent a child between other responsibilities, and the daily struggles that they have with kids. And this is where the importance of being happy beyond the smile comes up.
Are You Really A Happy Mom?
Psychologists who have researched on the ‘happiness’ aspect in a mother’s life say that when moms say that they are ‘happy’, they are referring to only some selective moments from their parenting experience. These moments generally comprise of reading bed time stories, bathing times, playing together etc. which are enjoyable moments. But parenting is far more than this! Hours trying to get a child dressed or put to sleep, wiping noses and changing diapers, packing lunches and cleaning messes can make motherhood stressful and frustrating. This makes women slip into this stage of ‘unhappiness’ where they start yelling at kids, squabbling with the spouse and eventually may even get depressed. But you know that you do need to be a happier person, and not just a happy mom. In the midst of so much chaos, we bring some definite ways which can make you a ‘Happy Mom’ and not an ‘Angry Mom’.
8 Steps To Be A Happy Mom
Kids do bring joy, but they also bring exhaustion, frustration and sometimes a lot of despair. Though the intensity of joy outweighs the hard work mothers put in, yet there are times when you want to be happy by yourself. And here is how to go about it.
Value what you do: The first step to be a happy mom is to value what you do and understand how important it is. The connection that you have with your child is larger than yourself, and you are doing something really big- raising a child has given a new dimension and meaning to your life. Value what you do, and not only will it help you in a positive way but also help you become a more effective mother
Dress right, clean daily: Get rid of those pajamas and capris and dress up beyond the T-shirts that have milk spilled all over. Stash away those yoga pants and wear something like a real ‘dress’. A nice shirt, fitted pair of jeans, or a flowy skirt. Make sure you wash and clean yourself (Du-uh) on a daily basis and smell good (No milk and cheese smell please!) Doll up woman!
Admit when you are stressed: Stress goes hand in hand with parenting. Everyone gets stressed once in a while, so do not be too hard on yourself. Motherhood cannot always be warm and rosy, and when you accept this reality, your life will become easier. It is perfectly normal to get tired, feel frustrated, or irritable and even angry. This does not make you a bad parent, and neither is this a bad experience, it is well, just pretty normal
Chalk your priorities: Re-prioritize what and how much you need to do. It is not how you spend your money, but how you spend your time. If there is the option of financial flexibility which can help you to maximize your family time, make use of it. If not, then see how you can pan your day to make it more enriching. This is a huge key to start your day on a positive note
Appreciate and savor: Take some time out and appreciate what you have and what you are doing. Sip your morning cup of coffee and notice what your child is doing. Is it worth it? Do you have a wonderful child? Feeling drudged? Imagine your life without the children. Wouldn’t your life be empty without them? You have taken the hard job, and you need to appreciate every bit of it. Don’t you feel calmer already?
Connect with your spouse: If you are one of the moms who think to themselves that the baby assumes utmost importance as of now and you can work on the relationship later, you need to step back. You need to work on your relationship now, and connect with your partner to stay strong. A supportive spouse can release your tensions by just asking you about your day. Keep the lines of communication open, and you will soon find out that your key to happiness depends on this man the most
Feel grateful: Thank everyone for their support to you. Thank the Almighty for what he has given you. Feelings of gratitude and thankfulness are a great mood booster. Acknowledge what you have and what life has given you. Appreciate the other people in your life. Be thankful for what you have in life
Do not expect perfection: Being reasonable is a pre-requisite to being happy. Moms who do not expect themselves or their children to be perfect in-fact raise the happiest kids. Perfection is a myth, and there is no such thing as a ‘perfect parent’ or ‘perfect children’. The sooner you agree not being ‘perfect’, the happier you will be
These simple steps are the ones in the right direction, and they actually work. The more you engage yourself in positive and constructive thinking, the more you will realize that happiness is under your own control, and you are simply not aware of it.