“Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.”-Marshall Rosenberg
Before you became parents, you might have encountered many instances where you saw a parent spanking a child to stop him/her from misbehaving. Many of us would have sworn then that “I would never ever raise my hand on my children and would find other loving, non-violent ways to discipline then.”
Looking back, you might think that was an inane and unrealistic promise. What should you do when your toddler hits another in the play area? How can you stop your pre-schooler from throwing a fit at the toy store? What do you when your school-goer refuses to obey simple instructions time and again? And how could you possibly stop your teenager from slamming the bedroom door close after every disagreement? How could you possibly not spank them, right?
Whenever your children misbehave, your knee-jerk reaction is to react the same way you were reacted to by your parents when you misbehaved. Yelling at them, boxing their ears or hitting them. This probably is not the best way to discipline them. Your children needs your love and understanding always, more so when they least deserve it.
“When a child hits a child, we call it aggression
When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility
When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault
When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline.” – a child psychologist Haim G. Ginott famously quoted once.
If you were spanked as a child, you’d probably hold it ideal to spank yours. Infact, more than 60% of parents think that hitting or spanking a child is okay for kids in the age group of 1 to 3 years. A research claims that parents who were not hit or spanked during their childhoods are less likely to spank their own kids. Research also claims that children who are not spanked and set into a disciplines mode with alternative disciplining strategies, turn out better individuals when they grow up. On the other side, a child who has been punished regularly for his misdeeds for disciplinary issues is likely to be emotionally unbalanced and their behavior degrades further.Spanking as a way to establish authority has a negative impact on children.
The only result that comes from spanking is probably immediate compliance, nothing beyond that. Children who get spanked from their parents tend to have defiant and aggressive attitudes, coupled with temper tantrums and taking out their frustrations on other children by physically hitting them. We are sure you’d like to discipline your child the other way.
So yes, you do know that spanking is just not an ideal parenting technique. It can hurt your child, bith physically and emotionally, and may hamper your relationship. This is all good. But at the end of the day, it is also important to discipline them.
So how can you effectively discipline your child without hitting him?
While children of different ages should be disciplined using different tactics, there are 3 universally applicable alternatives to hitting the child.
(For more on these three techniques, please refer to the book “Stop the Screaming: How to Turn Angry Conflict with Your Child into Positive Communication” by Carl Pickhardt)
Other Effective Techniques To Discipline Your Child Without Hitting Can Be:
Happy Disciplining! Happy Parenting!
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