Easing Pre-School Separation Anxiety

Preparing your child for the first day of pre-school may seem like a herculean task for both the parents and the child. Whereas a child is apprehensive of the new environment, parents generally end up wondering whether their child is ready for it yet. Though you manage to make your little one brush, wash, dress and then buckle up the seat belt, you know that the struggle will actually begin with the ‘good-bye’ the parting kiss and the hug. With a heavy heart you drop your ward off, knowing what exactly is coming your way. Things get even more difficult when your Pre-schooler cries at drop offs, throws a tantrum, clings to you begging not to be left or simply refuses to part.

Read more on preparing your child for pre-school here.

What Is Pre-School Separation Anxiety?

Infants less than 6 months of age do not have separation anxiety – as long as their basic needs are met, they are happy and content. However, fear or separation anxiety starts to show signs from 6-7 months onwards, when babies start recognizing and forming bonds with people who they see around them regularly. Children form strong bonds with their parents, especially with their mothers, which is why parting with them can be very difficult for the child. Separation anxiety is a very common and natural phenomenon in kids. They start developing this anxiety when they are around 8 months, when they start feeling that objects and people exist even when they are out of sight. The moment a baby feels his mom or dad are not to be seen around, he starts panicking. Young kids do not understand the concept of time, so they do not understand when the parents will be back. They would do anything to prevent the parents from ‘disappearing’ which results into clingy, crying babies who resist attention from everyone else. It becomes more severe as the child grows up and takes the form of pre-School separation anxiety when the child is sent to school, during the time they are 3-4 years old. Pre-school separation anxiety affects both, the parent sand the child.

What Causes Pre-School Anxiety?

1. Lack of familiarity and security: Kids feels safe with their parents. Being separated creates a fear in their minds, which is difficult to shake off. The place is unfamiliar, the faces are new, the sense of comfort is lost, and the child starts feeling left out. This can be eased by taking the child to the pre-school a few times before the d-day. Let him explore the surroundings, meet the teachers, know where the play areas are, and thus develop a sense of familiarity
2. Estimate of time: Kids are bad at estimating time. Now you might say that a few hours is a few hours indeed, but for a young chap, a few minutes or three hours is the same thing
3. Fear: Kids fear that something might happen to them or the ones they love. The uncertainty involved with separation is the cause of the fear. Many young children have the fear that the parents will not return to pick them up and take them back. This can make your child extremely clingy
4. Attachment: Bonds between a ward and parents are way too strong during the initial stages of life. Your little one depends on you for everything, he cannot imagine his life without you even for a few seconds
5. Attention: In an unfamiliar surrounding, the kids may not get the same attention as they are used to get at home. The shift from one caregiver devoted to them to a caregiver looking after many other people is difficult to digest. They tend to feel isolated and alone

Pre-school Separation Issues

Parents are at the receiving end of Pre-school anxiety. The level of anxiety may vary from child to child but there are some common pre-school anxiety issues that persist everywhere.

1. Not letting go: The child refusing to let go of the parent is natural due to the strong relationship. The child can become very stubborn in some cases causing a lot of chaos
2. Refusing to go to school:Very often the child refuses to go to school, as they don’t like it there. They insist on not attending school by citing various issues faced by them
3. Complains about feeling sick: In order to avoid school the child might even complain about having a stomachache or a headache

Strategies To Deal With Pre-school Separation Anxiety

If dealt with carefully, this problem can be easily resolved. There are a few pre-school separation anxiety strategies that parents must follow in order to ensure a easy drop off.