Fear of the dark is common in toddlers, not because they are fragile and tender, but because they are vivid in their imaginations. It is not uncommon for kids to fear the dark, especially if they sleep alone in the room. This fear often picks up by 2 to 3 years when toddlers struggle to realize the difference between fantasy and reality. They may imagine a monster lurking in the dark room while sleeping, or two shiny eyes watching them in the dark.
In most cases, this fear subsides with time and as the toddler matures. Let us try to understand why toddlers have this fear of the dark, where it comes from, and what to do about it.
In This Article
- Why Are Kids Afraid of The Dark?
- What Causes The Fear of Dark in Toddlers?
- Top 10 Tips to Help Your Toddler Overcome The Fear of Dark
- How Can You Prevent Fear of The Dark in Your Toddler?
- FAQ’s
Why Are Kids Afraid of The Dark?
Toddlers normally start fearing dark or nighttime when they become old enough to imagine things but not intelligent enough to separate reality from imagination. This happens when they are 2-3 years old (1a). The fears might vary from toddler to toddler – some might fear monsters lurking in the dark, some might imagine a stranger like a thief waiting in the dark to harm them, and some might just imagine big insects or animals.
Now not only are they too small to realize monsters are not real or no strangers are hiding under the bed, but their minds are so blank that they cannot preoccupy or distract themselves (like we adults do) to take their minds off their fears. These fears emerge every day and night times turn scary. A toddler’s mind does not have a lot of distractions, and the fear keeps looming around.
What Causes The Fear of Dark in Toddlers?
There are various reasons why your tiny tot, typically gets uncomfortable, fearful, and cranky in darkness. Their imaginations run high and they cannot understand what’s happening (2). As a result, they may fear a monster approaching them in a dark room. Some of the other reasons are as follows:
1. TV is The Number One Culprit
Your tiny tot might be watching something completely age-inappropriate, even if you play only cartoon channels. The strange-looking animals, shadow play, and other things on TV might look cute to you, but they might be scary for your toddler (3).
2. Books Are Another Reason
While reading to them is one of the best things you can do for them, books can also ignite their imagination. Many children’s stories talk about monsters and other mythical bad characters (4). All this can haunt them lying in the dark trying to sleep.
3. Parents, And The Stories They Tell Are Another Culprit
Many parents try to instill fear in their toddlers with monsters or “boogeyman” kind of stories (e.g., “eat this fast, else boogeyman will come and catch you”) (5). This comes back to terrify the tiny tot when they are sleeping.
Top 10 Tips to Help Your Toddler Overcome The Fear of Dark
1. Listen to Them
Do not dismiss your toddler’s fears as silly. Do not ridicule them. You have to listen to them and try to identify the source of the fear. Ensure that you empathize with them and do not make fun of their fear.
2. Don’t Support The Imaginary Fear
Do not feed the fear. If you tell your monster-fearing toddler “Do not worry, I will kill the monster if he comes to you”, then it will reinforce their belief that the monster exists. This will not provide a sustainable solution to the fear, and in fact, will aggravate it.
3. Reassure Your Toddler of Safety
Tell your toddler that they are safe in the house and that you are in the next room if they need you. Emphasize that there are no monsters, strange animals, or people in the dark. Check under the bed and behind the cupboard in front of them to reassure them of this. You can also let them check with you.
4. Limit TV Exposure or Scary Stories
As we mentioned before, these are the major culprits that make their little minds go on an over-imaginative run. Ensure that they are watching only a little TV throughout the day. Also, avoid scary story books. Many fun, light books still make awesome reads. Stick to them.
5. Install a Night Light
You can leave a dim night light on if it makes your toddler feel more secure. However, do not keep the main lights on as the toddler will grow up not being able to sleep in the dark.
6. Think of Giving a Security Object to The Toddler
Arm your toddler with a security object that they might find comforting. This could be a soft teddy or a blanket. Many kids sleep soundly as long as they can clutch onto their security objects.
7. Put Yourself in Your Toddler’s Shoes
It is easy to feel irritated and impatient when your tiny one complains of monsters repeatedly despite you having told them they are not real. Think of it from their point of view. Getting frustrated just because you are old enough to know that the monster is not there will not help. The monster may be an imagination, but the fear is real. Remember how it was when you were a kid? These fears are not easily wiped off. So do not expect an instant solution.
8. Empower your Toddler
You can tell your tiny tot that they can ask for help if they are scared. For instance, you can tell them you will come and check on them every 30 minutes if they are alone in the room to see if everything is okay. This would soon become a habit and they wouldn’t face any trouble falling asleep alone.
9. Make Bedtime Routine Happy, Funny, And Light
Make the last 30-60 minutes of your toddler’s day as relaxing as possible. As mentioned before, do not let them watch TV or do not read scary stories. Make it fun and short, emphasizing one-on-one interactions.
10. Get Help
If you think that your toddler’s fears and anxiety are getting increasingly worse, then you can talk to a pediatrician to help identify the trauma and suggest ways to calm them (1b).
How Can You Prevent Fear of The Dark in Your Toddler?
Addressing a toddler’s diverse array of nighttime fears requires patience and understanding (7). As parents, you must never disapprove of their fear, instead, try to reassure them that these fears are momentary and you are always there for support and reassurance. You can prevent this fear from surfacing with certain tricks and handy tools:
- Have a happy and comfortable bedtime routine, devoid of TV and mobile exposure
- Spend little time with them until they fall asleep
- Play calming music, it will help them to sleep quickly
- Reassure them that they’re safe and you’re always there for support
Fear of the dark is an intense discomfort that toddlers experience during toddlerhood. Though common, it needs to be addressed hands-on. otherwise, the fear may assimilate deep within. As parents, you should assure them of their safety by letting them know that you’re around. Moreover, empowering them with confidence and mental strength is another additional. The comforting bedtime routines along with night lamps can also help to reduce their irrational and overbearing fear of darkness.
FAQ’s
1. At What Age do Kids Become Afraid of The Dark?
The fear of the dark typically begins when toddlers reach 2 to 3 years of age. It happens because they feel unsafe and insecure in situations where they are unsure. Since they cannot see properly in a dark place, they develop an imaginary fear of being harmed. Slowly, as they mature, this fear subsides.
2. How do I Get my Toddler to Stop Being Scared of The Dark?
To help your toddler, you can make arrangements to lighten the room by using a dim light. You can also offer reassurance to them by being with them while they sleep for some time. Sometimes, giving them a comfort object such as a side pillow can also help.
3. How Long Does Fear of The Dark Last in Toddlers?
The fear of the dark subsides as toddlers mature and they realize that darkness is nothing to fear. Most toddlers outgrow this fear by 7 to 8 years, though individual experiences may vary due to family upbringing and temperamental variations in children.
4. Are Kids Naturally Afraid of The Dark?
Yes, toddlers are naturally afraid of the dark. This fear often stems from imagination and a lack of ability to differentiate between what’s real and what is just a figment of imagination. Moreover, toddlers fear what they cannot see or understand in their natural world. Thus, this fear is common.
References
- Reducing the Nighttime Fears of Young Children Through a Brief Parent-Delivered Treatment—Effectiveness of the Hungarian Version of Uncle Lightfoot – [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8924102/]
- A 25‑Year Review of Nighttime Fears in Children: Past, Present,
and Future – [https://sci-hub.se/downloads/2021-06-19/de/lewis2021.pdf] - Impacts of Scary Television Programmes on children Psychology, Attitude and Behavior – [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263825547_Impacts_of_Scary_Television_Programmes_on_children_Psychology_Attitude_and_Behavior]
- Night or darkness, which intensifies the feeling of fear? – [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0167876015001713?via%3Dihub]
- Monsters Evolve: A Biocultural Approach to Horror Stories – [https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232490536_Monsters_Evolve_A_Biocultural_Approach_to_Horror_Stories]
- Children’s nighttime fears: parent–child ratings of frequency, content, origins, coping behaviors and severity – [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005796799001552]
