Often, before we become parents, we are judgmental of other parents’. We can never understand why the screaming does not stop, and blame the parent to lose his temper. But once we tread on the parental path, we realize that being a parent is a full-time and a hectic job. There are days when your child brings you boundless joy but there are times when your child inexplicably wails, throws a tantrum or simply gets on your nerves. You blow yourself, screaming and shouting and swearing. Once the storm subsides, you wish you had handled the situation patiently. Though there is no thumb-rule designated as ‘right parenting’ yet there are some tips that can make you take control of the situation in a better way and not be ‘guilt ridden’ most of the times. But patience is a virtue! Here we bring you 12 secrets to help you be a more patient, calm and composed parent.
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12 Tips to be a Patient Parent
- Accept: Yes, accept that your patience levels are lagging and you have been yelling your lungs out. Mostly, it is one or more things about emotions- and bottled emotions are blow away your family’s harmony. Accept that there is a problem, and determine what you would like to do about that
- Identify triggers: Is there something in particular that blows your lid off? Is it in the evenings that you feel agitated and take it out on your kids? Identifying what fires you off will help you avoid those situations. If it is evenings, ask your spouse or other family members to take care of the child while you soothe yourself with a bath, a short nap, or some book and music. Once you know what makes you lose your cool, it will be easier to tackle
- Don’t sweat the small stuff: Having hyper active kids can make you easily irritable and short tempered but this doesn’t mean that you should yell and scream at them 24/7. Kids are going to be kids and are going to forget about the scolding but you getting worked up on small things is going to impact you health negatively. It is important to understand what you need to be strict about and what things you must simply let go. Don’t be after your kids for silly things, unless they do something seriously bad, don’t lose your cool
- Learn from your mistakes: Every child is different and every child will react to a situation differently. Some kids are indifferent to scolding whereas some children might take it quite personally. Try a few methods and learn what works for your child, what makes him scared and what makes him sad. So when your child starts acting up you know exactly what to do to make him stop. This will save you a lot of trauma and time
- Remember your child is not your punching bag: Parents often get so used to yelling and shouting at the kids that sometimes subconsciously they end up removing their frustration on the kids. It is understandable to get a little worked up when your child irritates you but punishing him brutally for something else that is bothering you is absolutely wrong. Always remember the punishment should fit the crime. Your scolding must be valid and most importantly it must help the child to differentiate between right and wrong
- Anger management: Anger is the root cause for most of our anxiety and it can make us do things we might later regret. In such cases the good old tricks like counting to 10, taking deep breaths or simply walking out of the room can help you tremendously. In case you are worried about something and your child begins to irritate you, ask your spouse or anyone else in the family to look after your child for a little bit instead of removing your angst on the child
- Pretend someone is watching you: We generally tend to stay calm and behave more civilized when we are in the company of others. When you are beginning to get worked up, pause for a moment and think how you would react if there was someone else in the room. This technique will help you to stay in control and not lose your cool easily
- Take it easy: Your child is going through a phase, he is not going to be this way forever. Understand this fact and learn to take things in your stride. There is no reason to get hyper on every single thing. Learn to laugh over something, and ignore the tiny things. Seeing you get angry for small things is going to affect your child negatively and also he or she will not take you seriously anymore. Be friends with your child when you have to and you will see how easy it is to deal with kids
- Stand your grounds: Being patient doesn’t mean you give in to your child’s tantrums. Just because your child is crying and throwing a fit don’t go back on your words and say yes to something you said no for, earlier. Your child might create a ruckus for time being but gradually he will learn to understand that once you say no for a certain thing no amount of crying and tantrum throwing is going to change your mind and he will eventually learn to deal with it. This process takes time but it will save you a lot of unnecessary drama in the future
- Exercise: The best way to relax and re-gain your strength is to exercise. Regular exercise helps to cope with anxiety and depression. It will also give you a boost of confidence. You don’t need to indulge in strenuous exercises you can start small, like brisk walking or doing some yoga at home. It will not only help you to maintain your body but it will also give you the strength to cope with rest of the day
- Meditate: It is a known fact the meditation has many benefits. It lowers blood pressure, improves immunity and has many other health benefits. Apart from the physical advantages it also helps to reduce anxiety attacks, curbs depression and increases the energy level. Simple meditation for a few minutes early in the morning will put you in a positive state of mind and help you clear your head
- Take time out!: When you observe that you are angry and irritable for days at a stretch, it could mean you need a change in your lifestyle. From time to time schedule some leisure time for yourself, catch up with some friends, watch a movie or treat yourself to a spa session. Some ‘me – time’ is going to give you a much needed break and you will return to your children cheerful and rejuvenated
Happy Parenting!
