To be a single mom can get a little taxing. From taking care of financial needs, to maintaining a house hold and being a strong role model to your children; the job description of a single mom is endless. However, children of single parents can do just as well as those who grow up with both the parents, and there are plenty of examples world wide to prove this. Here are some tips to get your act together.
Top 12 Tips To Be An Awesome Single Mother
Believe in yourself: Being a single mom can get a bit overwhelming but don’t let that faze you. It may seem difficult to manage everything on your own let alone raise a child but trust your capabilities. Women and especially mothers are pro at multitasking; use that to your advantage. Don’t get disheartened when you fail, remember Rome wasn’t built in a day
Find a flexi-job: A lot of companies offer flexi timings to their employees. If your schedules are not permitting to have some quality family time, opt for some flexi timings. Most corporates offer such facilities, and you can always discuss your concerns with your employer. Many people understand the pressures of a single mom and willingly hand over convenient shifts. Hiding the fact that you are a single mom won’t really help, but seeking out help will definitely make a huge change in your work-life balance
Handle your finances: An awesome mom takes care of her child’s needs. Plan you monthly budget and stick to the plan as much as possible. Make lists of everything you’ll need for the month like grocery, stationery etc also keep some cash aside for unforeseen expenses and emergencies. Once you make your monthly expense list you will be sorted and won’t find yourself in a financial crunch at the end of the month
Be prepared for emergencies: Children tend to fall sick often, keep your doctor or pediatrician’s number handy. Jot down all the important numbers and medicine names on post- its and stick them on your desk. You do not want to scramble for them the last minute. Also talk to your child before hand and explain them what to do in case they are lost or not feeling well. A good practice would be to make your child learn your phone number by heart
Answer the inevitable questions: As your child grows he or she is bound to ask you questions about why you are separated or live alone unlike other kids that live with both their parents. Be prepared for such questions and when your child throws such questions at you do not get rattled but answer all the questions calmly. Your child deserves to know about his or hers parentage and leaving them in dark can create negative impression on his mind. The way you tell them these things is very important as well. Assure your child that it is fine and that you are fine and your child will find a way to deal with the situation
Equation with your Ex: For your child’s sake it is important that you maintain a cordial relationship with your Ex. Your child or your ex partner might want to maintain relationship with each other and you must be accepting about this fact. Also, being gracious with your Ex will not only make things easier for your child, it will help your child to think rationally. Moreover, praise and appreciate all the good men you have had in your life, ask them to participate in your child’s growing up
Seek help whenever you need: Raising a child single-handedly can get a little strenuous, so can diving time between work and home. During such times it is advisable to seek help. If household work is too hectic, you can always hire a maid; just make sure they are reliable. If your work demands a little extra time there are creches and baby sitters available in almost every locality. Family members can also come forward to stay with you or if they in the same city, you can ask their help if such a need arises. There is nothing bad in asking help from close friends, family and well wishers. Don’t shy away while seeking help, you are not compromising on your baby you are just making sure that you give your child a better future
Maintain discipline: Mom’s can be a little generous and forgiving when it comes to the child. Add to that the constant need to be ‘on the go’ all the time. However, it is important that you do not compromise when it comes to discipline. Be clear about what you should and shouldn’t allow your child to do. Allot time to study, watch TV and play and make sure your child follows it. A child can get stubborn and throw tantrums, don’t give in! If you strongly oppose certain things your child will learn to accept them eventually
Set Goals: Setting goals, short term or long term, can be a good practice. Make a board and mark your short term goals on that board like getting a new sofa or achieving your monthly target at work. Also encourage your child to chalk down his goals like winning a competition or building that Lego house. This will not only encourage you to achieve what you want but will also help your child to cultivate a good habit
Be a friend: Maintaining an open and friendly relationship with your child can prove beneficial in the long run. You should be strict on certain issues but wherever you can compromise a little, do that! Talk to your child about work, if he or she is a little grown up and ask them about their school and friends. Keep up with the changing times and learn to accept that kids will grow and you cannot control them all the time. You just have to trust your upbringing
Take time off: Being a mom is a full time job but that doesn’t mean you cannot indulge in a little ‘me time’. Once a month take some time off and pamper yourself. Make a spa appointment or catch up with some friends. This will not only rejuvenate you but also re-energize you for the coming days
Appreciate yourself:: You probably have no one to see you through all the hard work you are putting in to raise a child single-handedly. No kudos to you when your child gets potty trained or when you still make it to your child’s daycare in time despite a crappy presentation at work. However, these are your achievements and you must congratulate and appreciate yourself
In the end, be easy on yourself. There are many things on your plate; all you could do is give your best and have a little faith.