Written by Editorial Team
There’s a saying that “More often or once a child abstained from love will demand it in most unpleasant way”. This saying goes with children who hit other children. Hitting someone is not a spontaneous reaction, though it looks like one. Children who hit others are going through a process similar to volcanic eruption, to erupt or to hit others is not sudden action rather it is caused by a series of events. A lot of toddlers and pre-schoolers take way to hitting others physically when they do not have the words or skills to handle a difficult or a frustrating situation. There are many reasons that can cause such aggressive behavior. Sense of fear, isolation, tension, frustration, sadness, anger and anxiety, can all be the reasons for a child to hit other child.
A toddler between the ages of 18 months to about two years find it very hard to communicate his needs to his parents and friends. Since the vocabulary of the child is limited, and he is constantly exploring new things and feelings, he finds himself in a position of turmoil for lack of expression. This causes aggression in kids and they resort to hitting and even biting. Aggression is way of expression, and younger kids do engage in this kind of behavior given certain situations. The problem arises when kids start to consistently behave in an aggressive way, which makes it imperative for parents to step in and help them find non-aggressive ways to communicate and express.
When a child grows up, hitting other children is merely due to the lack of attention given to him when he started with inappropriate behavior. Since the child never learnt how to behave appropriately and because non-aggressive means of communication haven’t been taught to him, he is very likely to resort to physical aggression.
Aggressive behavior in children is a matter of extreme concern for parents, teachers and other children in company of your child. Children are raised with love and care; but sometimes even under cautious observation of parents some aspects of their personality to go unnoticed. The aggressive nature of a child can be one of them. If such a nature of accident or a complaint comes to your notice, you must understand that there must be something that triggered this situation. Learn what were the circumstances, what caused it, and find out what triggered this act of hitting other child. The first step is to identify the cause of the aggressive behavior. Is it because:
You will have a better control of the situation and will also be able to read his mind once you are able to answer these questions. Careful observation of your child will make way for a better understanding as to what triggers his hitting behavior. Does he hit only one child, or does he hit only when a particular toy is taken by another child? Is his aggression triggered by frustration, anger or stimulation? How does he express his agitation and aggression? Does he become verbally abusive? Or he strikes physically? Once you do figure answers to questions like this, it is very likely that you will be able to draw a pattern in the situations that cause such behavior. With your help, your child can learn to calm himself and be aware of his aggressive behavior. You will need to help him find alternative solutions to his problems, and make him learn that aggressive behavior can and does have unpleasant consequences.
Once you have understood the underlying cause of your child’s aggression and have zeroed out on the reasons, you will need to step in without giving in to the urge to punish or banish. Lets see how:
The solution to such aggressive behavior starts from you. If you have been aggressive to anyone in front of your child hen immediately stop doing that. Never hit your partner, both the parents are very important to a child. Hence, it is very important to love your partner. It creates a sense of security in your child, and besides that, domestic violence itself has a major negative impacts on a child.
You must understand that children resort to hitting because they do not have the skills to express the discomfort that they might be feeling in any other way. Till the time a child develops speech skills, he is most likely to vent his frustration by crying, hitting, or showing other ways of aggression. Sometimes, they take the cues from parents who hit their child when something doesn’t happen in tune with their likes. Hitting is not the response to hitting – it is the cause to even more hitting.
With a rich experience in pregnancy and parenting, our team of experts create insightful, well-curated, and easy-to-read content for our to-be-parents and parents at all stages of parenting.Read more.
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