A new born baby is always a delight to the family and relatives. It is a time for joy and celebration for all the families concerned. Many visitors and relatives prefer to visit the baby while you are in the hospital, and some will pay you a visit once you are home. The flock of visitors can be over whelming at times, as they both mother and baby are trying to cope with one another.
Some relatives and friends come at home at odd times. Though everybody has good intentions and mean well, things can get chaotic, when you are dealing with pain, baby blues, lack of sleep, change in routine and over all discomfort. Although you cannot shun out the visitors and friends, who are there to see the new born baby, you can always make sure that your and baby’s convenience comes first.
How Can I Manage My Newborn Baby Visitors?
Here, in India, we have our parents or in laws to help the new mother take care of the baby and manage the visitors. Plus the mother has to follow the 40 day confinement period in some cultures, so visitors often become the responsibility of other family members. But there are instances, where new mom and dad are away from the family and sometimes they have to manage the baby on their own. Whether you are on your own or with your family, certain rules do apply to the visitors. Let’s take a glance at some points that will help you manage your baby’s visitors conveniently:
- Take it easy: Easier said than done, but taking things easy is the best way to deal with people who will be visiting you and your baby. You need to take as much as possible so as to recover quickly and keep those postpartum moodswings at a bay. When you have relatives at your house at odd times, tell your elders if they are at home to attend to them. You can always say that you and the baby are resting and it would be nice if the guests visit the baby tomorrow at a given time. Make a rule that if the baby is sleeping, you will not wake him. Guests can see the baby sleeping in the cot or the crib, and refrain from making loud noise, so as not to disturb the baby
- Set schedules, if possible: So the next time your phone rings and someone wants to come over to see the baby, ask them when are they likely to come. If the time interferes with the baby’s (or your’s) nap of feed time, tell them politely how nice it would be if they could ome by half an hour earlier. This way you will be able to schedule the visiting hours and still not disturb your resting and feeding schedules.
- Be presentable: A change of clothes might be the last thing on your mind, but greeting guests in pyjamas and tops that has baby drool may not be pleasant. Keep a comfy set of clothes at a handy place that are easy to slip on when someone visits. Or wrap up a nice stole or a shawl or slip on a cardigan that hides the clothes. Wipe your face with a baby wipe, and put on some cream, just to look sane enough. You need not doll yourself up, but try to look clean and fresh
- Do not bother about the house: Sure the house is a mess, when there is a new arrival at your home. Routines are hap hazard. It’s ok to be to be messy. The disorderly house is a part of the entire charm. You have just come out from a huge birthing experience and might be dealing with loads of discomfort (especially in case of C-section) so a messy house should be your last worry. Keep one room tidy enough to entertain guests and that’s about it. If these is dust, or laundry that needs to be done, it alright to let it be. Do not let this things affect your mental health. House work can be done, once you and your baby are adjusted to the schedule
- Ask help, if needed: In case, there are no elders to help, ask a friend or relatives for a helping hand. See if your husband can take some days off work to help you around. People are generally willing to help, provided you let them know that you are willing to take help. Do not hesitate to ask. That way they can spend some time with baby and you can finish your chores. If you feel, you are not able to manage on your own, hire a full time maid or a helper. You are not a superwoman so do not try to be one!
- Give roles to Dad: Your husband has been your constant pillar of strength and support all through these 9 months. You can assign some responsibilities to him to help you around the house. Most men want to help their new-mothers wives, but do not know where to start from. When it comes to men, be straight in communicating how you want a particular thing to be done lest you crib and zero out a man’s hard work
- Sanitize before touching the baby: Everyone wants to touch and cuddle a new born. Always let your visitors know that they will need to sanitize their hands before touching the baby. If you think it will sound rude, you can ask your family members to lead by examples. And simply slip in “we are just following the doctor’s advice” so as to let others know your intentions. Keep the bottle of sanitizer handy for the visitors. Or you can tell them to wash their hands with soap and water before touching. However, you must ensure that no alcohol based sanitizer comes in contact with your baby’s hand. Also, if you have kids visiting your baby, be careful when they hold the baby. Safety lies in being safe!
- No sick kids near the baby: New born baby has yet to develop an immune system. Let your visitors know that they should not get any kids suffering from cold or cough near to the baby. Your baby can catch the germs easily just by touching or breathing near a baby as the immune system is not yet developed. It is also a wise decision not to let elders with contagious diseases hold the baby
- Allow time for feeding: Your new born baby will need frequent feedings. Do not rush the baby, while you are feeding and having the guest to attend. Your guests also understand that feeding takes time. Similarly, if your baby is hungry, politely tell your guests that it is your baby’s feed time and walk out of the room. It is perfectly alright and you need not feel guilty or ashamed of it
- No edibles please: Some older people may insist to feed your baby honey or mithai. Honey can be dangerous for a baby (click here to know how) and for the first 6 months of your baby’s life, breast milk (or formula if your are bottle feeding your baby) is enough. Your baby’s digestive system is still developing and he could get infected if he is fed solids
The first week with the baby is very hectic and tiring. The visitors have to understand that a new parent and a new born baby need lots of rest.
How Do I Deal With Unwanted Baby Care Advises?
You will also get lots of unsolicited advice regarding what you should eat or how you should take care of the baby from all quarters. Without getting irritated or stressed, take it in your stride. Things will look difficult in the beginning, as you are experiencing everything for the first time. You and baby are getting to know each other. You are getting adjusted with baby’s routine, your sleepless nights and changes in your body. Do not take advises too seriously. Do what makes you and baby comfortable. Eat proper food and rest as much as possible. Bond with baby as it is essential for your milk supply. If you are staying with elders in the house, then use 40 days resting period to your advantage and enjoy the moments.