Every child has a behavioral personality, which is shaped as per his or her surrounding atmosphere and parent’s behavior. Babies start to have emotional outburst around age of two. At this age, the child seems have temper problems and throws tantrums at you for minor things. This stage is termed as “terrible twos”. The emotional outburst however, is easily observed from age of 18th months and lasts for age of 3 years. In some children, this behavior may continue after age of 3 years. This is more of a developmental stage and is not relative to age. Once the child is able to communicate and express himself better, the tantrums will decrease. Parents find this behavior tricky to handle however, raising your child to help him deal with his emotions, especially frustration can be tricky but not impossible.
Reasons for Throwing Tantrums
Children at the age of two are keen observers. They watch others and try to imitate it themselves. Until age of two, your child needed help of an adult, but now he struggles to do things on its own. The need for independence in children is collided with their need of an adult, which results in frustrated feeling of not being able to do things on their own. Children have expectations out of themselves, and when they realize they are not able to do something that they though they could do, a flurry of emotions is released. These raw emotions cannot be expressed with the limited vocabulary of a 2 year old, which results in temper tantrum, antagonism in behavior and moodiness in a child. As the child manages to express his emotions with other means this behavioral outburst are minimized in children. Parents play an important role in helping their child go through this phase of life.
Development of opinions
Children at this age develop strong opinions, just like you and I were at 16, 18, or even now. But as adults, we also have control on ourselves, unlike these little kids. They do not care where they are, or who they are with, if they feel they are not getting what they want, they sob, cry and become cranky. Their vocabulary is developing and the most spoken word is NO. “No” gives them the power to oppose and choose, and this word dominates the speech of a child going through this developmental phase. Your best bet, never give them open end choices – give fixed options instead.
Effects of terrible twos on parents and toddler
Those parents who have to handle behavioral time bombs of two years know how difficult it can get. This behavioral outburst of children has significant effect on parents’ life and has impact on relationship between your partner and child. If a two year old is not treated properly by his/her parents and his or hers temper tantrum is entertained by parents, then you may have to deal with such behavior for longer time. Children with tempers tantrum finds it difficult to adjust with most things. Parents should remember that this stage also ends, so they should have patience and strategic tips to help your child adjust and channel emotions properly.
Tips To Tackle Terrible Twos
You can battle with your children’s tantrum out burst by many tested ways. These tips for terrible twos will help you deal with your moody child effectively.
- Fix penalty for bad behavior – The child should understand that his actions would have consequences. If your child shows tantrums make sure that, there will be an outcome to such behavior. Take away his toys for sometime if he displays unacceptable behavior
- Public Misbehavior – If you happen to be at a store and your toddler runs into throwing fits, stay assured that this does not make you a bad parent. Never ever give in to demands of your child, if he feels that a tantrum is the way to get that bar of chocolate, this will become a regular
- Propose Choices – If children are given limited choices, it becomes easy for them to select. Parents should avoid giving a two-year-old open choices. Open choices may result in further frustration in children
- Have controls – Control issues generally cause the behavioral outburst. Parents should not give in to their child’s tantrums and impose them self as decision makers. Make sure that you do not end up controlling everything
- Maintain healthy lifestyle – Children who get enough rest and sleep well show less behavioral issues. Healthy eating also helps in reducing behavioral outburst in children. Tantrums are generally outbursted when the child is hungry, tired or sleepy.
- Follow a routine – A slightest change in routine can confuse your children. Hence, it is important for parents to have and maintain a fixed routine
- Avoid – When a child’s behavioral outburst is left unattended, it may decrease. Ignoring him completely or isolating at one place may help you manage his or hers emotional outbreaks. Make sure that you do not make any eye contact with the child.
- Give positive reinforcement – Parents should credit good behavior. If your child displays good manners, praise him and encourage his actions. The rewards should be in kind, materialistic
- Have patience – parents need to give enough time for their child to adjust. When your child throws tantrum do not get agitated or angry by his behavior. Stay calm and find out what is making your child frustrated
Parents should try to connect with their toddlers and understand their feelings. You as a parent need to understand that behavior does not change all of a sudden. One has to give enough time to a child to make him realize that his actions are not proper. Tantrums and temper problems are common at this age and normal to have for a two year old. This situation gradually gets better on its own with age.