Tantrums and toddlers seem to have an affinity for each other, isn’t it? Why do toddlers throw tantrums? Is it to grab attention, get their demands met? Sudden outburst of emotions, toddlers between the ages of 1 and 3 years generally resort to having a meltdown in response to anything that they do not like or is not in tune with their moods. Toddlers use actions in expressing their feelings like hunger, anger, frustration, dislikes, resistance, etc by crying inconsolably, hitting people around, shouting, screaming, throwing objects, breaking things etc. depending on their age. Sometimes, they ven become aggressive. Aren’t all these tantrums familiar to us?
We all have faced either these or other tantrum problems with our kids. Kids can be pretty demanding and unreasonable at times, and the way we handle tantrums now grooms their personality later on. It is not likely that a toddler throws tantrums to manipulate, but if not attended to, he may begin correlating the same. Do these tantrums stop once they cross their toddler age? Well; it doesn’t stop here. Through trial and error, you need to find a way to deal with toddler tantrums, and at all times remember that negotiations or giving in to demands is not the way it should go.
- Out of our guilt for giving insufficient time?
- To save our time in sitting and making them understand things?
- We are trying to sort it out for later?
- We did not have these luxuries in our early life?
- Being our only kid fulfilling his wants and demands is our duty?
- Our kid will mature with time let the kid enjoy?
- The demands are too small or easier to fulfil?
The list is endless. Today they might make petty demands, as they grow their demands will increase. They will act stubborn, disrespect elders, and be snobbish.
We need to teach them value of time, money. Justify why we are submitting to their tantrums and why not? Justifying, giving reasons will help them develop clarity about situations. This boosts their morale positively in being thoughtful and judgmental in their actions. Value of money comes into picture for a very simple reason; the purchasing power of people has increased. They try to compensate their absence by substituting with materialistic stuffs. The most common tantrum faced by all mothers is kids wanting to watch TV while eating. Parents succumb so that kid will eat fast and without creating a ruckus. Can we replace their TV with other activity where we can bond with them and make them have food too? Can we suggest finishing food in a stipulated time and then allow watching TV? Can we give good incentives to them for completing a task? If we commit something to them we should stick to our words so they will trust us. We must identify with their temperaments and offer appropriate solutions.
Kids throw tantrums just to know they are loved, valued, important to people around them. They require everyday confirmation for the same through their interactions. It is very important to address tantrums strategically for developing these soft skills into a positive tool for future. We all know we fight, we argue, get angry only with people whom we love and we exercise our right. Tantrums are toddler’s way of expressing the same.