Friends or Parents?

3 min read
Positive parenting

Maintaining balance between friendliness and discipline is the key to successful parenting

A lot of parents feel that it’d be nice if they can be friends with their children. No doubt, it is always good to be friendly with your child, but surely that’s not enough. Parenting involves a lot more than this. Your child not only wants a friend in his parents but a guide as well. As a parent, you have to set limitations, rules, and boundaries to groom a child in a positive way. Many psychologists believe that most of the children like to be friends with their parents but up to a certain limit. You must make sure that your child never crosses the line of discipline and respect and he does not take you for granted. You can get closer to your child in many other ways apart from maintaining a friendly relationship.

Spend time with your child- As parents, no wonder how busy you are, it is your responsibility to spend quality time with your child. Spending time does not mean that you both are in the same room, doing separate stuff without communicating with each other.

Give him importance- When your child comes to you to ask for something, you should never neglect him by saying you are busy or he should come to later sometime. This makes him feel dejected and he starts confiding in you less. Always encourage him to come to you with his problems, so as to get closer to him.

Don’t force your opinion on him- You should make sure that you are not trying to change his nature by your constant prompting. If your child is an introvert, give him time to socialize and form his group. Don’t expect that he will mingle with any Tom, Dick or Harry! Similarly if he is an extrovert don’t try to influence him by telling him to keep quiet or making him sit by your side. It affects his personality and makes your relation with him, distant.

Encourage your child- Try to have positive attitude for your kid. If the child is unable to do something, then don’t look down upon him; instead encourage him to try again, till he succeeds. This way he will have more conviction on you than on himself.

Show your affection- It is rightly said that it is not just enough to love someone, it is equally important to express that love. Even though all the parents love their children unconditionally, they need to show it by hugging or kissing their child. It brings you closer to your child.

Keep realistic expectations- Psychologists round the world have always advised the parents not to over expect from their children, and burdening the child with peer and social pressure. The child may feel stressed fulfilling your expectations and keeping you happy. Actually you as a parent know what and how much you should expect from your child, knowing his capabilities.

Many psychologists believe that it is better to remain your child’s philosopher and guide rather than being a friend. A child can make his own friends but he needs you at a level where he himself or his friends cannot take care of him. That is where most children want the security level. So give your child, his space and your guidance, to make his life confident and relaxed.

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