There are different traits of personalities that can be observed in children. Some are exuberant, full of energy and they are popular at home or at school. There is another kind of children who do not enjoy the limelight and instead spend their time in the shadows. These children do not have many friends and are often subjected to intense humiliation at school. Your child may be among them and it is important to identify the signs while your child is still young.
The probability of your child being a loner is magnified if he/she has had a troubled childhood. Events like divorce of the parents or frequent quarrels at home may be affecting a child irreparably. At times, the reason lies in psychological trauma encountered during initial years at school.
There is a need to identify the traits of a loner. This way you can know if your child is one.
- He/she does not talk much – There are children who are silent and there are those who are introvert. Though the former does not speak much, he/she is known to respond and be interested in happenings around him/her. The latter however, is least bothered. Instead, he/she is deep drawn within himself.
- A disinterested attitude towards things in general – A loner may prefer to spend time locked up in his/her room instead of going for a game of football.
- Lack of friends – This is a universal trait of a loner. At school, he/she would be little known by peers and show little signs of wanting to interact with any.
- Does not indulge in hobbies – A loner would show little interest in activities which other children around him/her might find interesting.
- Smiles very little – A loner may lack essential social skills that his/her peers would have developed. Such children may be characteristically shy and show a reluctance to meet people.
Although being a loner is not rare, the trait is not a healthy one. A healthy social interaction is desirable in everyday life. Many a times, such a child can fall into long term depression unless this tendency is countered. You, as a parent can help your child come out of the shell and enjoy the company of those around him/her.
- Stop advising him/her on how to attract people – This would have the counter effect of turning him/her into a rebel. Instead, forge a harmonious relationship with your child.
- Give him/her the space to interact with people – Instead of advice, try and engage with him/her in activities that he/she might enjoy.
- Let him explore and find out his/her interests – This may be by encouraging him to take up hobby classes or by inviting his/her friends over. Try to be the bridge between your child and the rest of the world.
- Get professional help – A counsellor can be of great help in this regard. He would be able to prescribe therapy sessions and remedial procedures to help your child.
It is important to understand that a loner can undergo a tremendous change once he is past the teenage years. It is important to understand and respect the wishes of your child. It is not necessary that your child be a social icon, but to have a certain degree of socialism can help him achieve great things in life.