Many years ago things were different. Marriage, pregnancy and parenthood had a very different approach. Mothers stayed at home to look after the kids and the fathers went out to work and earn for family. But is it the same now? No. We are not in those times, things have changed drastically no matter how much we love and care for each other and long to have kids, we still need to think about it and precisely talk it out with each other.
10 Questions You Must Ask Yourself Before Planning A Baby
Here are 10 questions you need to ask each other as well as yourself before planning a baby:-
- Are you ready for parenthood or is it pressure? – Sometimes pressure or desire from your parents or in-laws is greater than your own willingness to have a baby. Are you really ready or is it under stress from family and friends? If yes, ask them, are they ready to help when you have children? Figure out what is best for you, and do not let their pressure prejudice your decision.
- Do you share a healthy relationship? –: Assess the strength of your bonding and love with each other. If you and your spouse are having some problems in your relationships and you feel a baby would stabilize it, then think again. Is having a child is the only way to improvise your relationship and are you ready to commit to each other as parents for coming years? Is it worth the risk? Are you absolutely sure that having a baby would work on saving your marriage as well?
- How stable is your financial status?:– It is not easy to raise a child. Look at the shape of your finances and how to manage your money spending before and after the baby needs to be discussed now. Not everything will be affordable, unless you are really well off. Ask yourself whether you can skip those weekend parties, expensive clothes and shoes and spare some amount for the baby’s future.
- Are you ready for a career break?: Know your company’s maternity leave policy – though it is very likely that you will get a maternity leave at first, but if your child needs you, you might have to give a break to your career plans or start working part-time, so does this fit in your long term plans and are you ready to give up on it?
- Do you have enough space? – Is your house the dream house you thought for your family. If you have a studio apartment or a one bedroom flat, will you be comfortable in it or need to upgrade or buy a new house? Do you have a school and other child facilities near your locality? You will have to see your neighbourhood from your child’s perspective.
6) How to get pregnant?:– For some it can be a cakewalk to get pregnant while for others it might take some time. Have a mindset it might take time and do not get too anxious if it takes longer than you thought of. Read about top 5 conception myths.
- Are you ready for a BIG change?: Maybe your life is too good at the moment and you really enjoy every part of it, be it your dream job, social life, holidays etc. but a baby will bring a lot of changes to your current life scenario. It’s your choice not to have a child for few more years, it doesn’t mean you are selfish.
- Which religion the baby will follow?: It could happen that you both are from different religious backgrounds and or had an inter-caste marriage or even want your child to follow some other faith. This needs to be sorted first.
- Are you ready for surprises?: No matter how much you both have discussed and talked about you never know what’s in store for you. If you have planned for one child and to your surprise, you have twins can you handle this? You also need to consider whether you can handle multiple responsibilities.
- Do you have a good support system?: Having family and friends around makes a huge difference. If you have your parents or in-laws to help you with the upbringing of your child you could consider asking their help. You could also vouch for any good baby sitter or a helping service you know .
All questions might not be answered before you bring home your baby or atleast become pregnant, but knowing which questions are most important can ease the transition to parenthood. Planned and thought about parenthood results in fewer issues and a healthy atmosphere for the baby as well as you. Knowing and understanding each other’s priorities, expectations and weakness makes the parenting journey an exciting and loving.