Written by Editorial Team
How many times have you seen an incredibly well behaved child and thought to yourself how the parents have brought him/her up?
On the same note, how many times have you seen an explicitly rude and misbehaving child and immediately thought to yourself the parent should do a better job of disciplining that unruly kid?
Although all of us know that every child has a unique personality by nature, the significance of “nurture” in shaping that personality in a positive way cannot be emphasized enough. While it is not right to “judge” the parenting style or the parents– because right and wrong are after all subjective – parents have a big role in disciplining their children. And predominantly, there are two ways of doing this:
If you do control your child, then you are not alone. For most parents, this is the most natural way of shaping up the child’s personality. This is because most of us feel that at some level, who our kids turn out to be is a reflection on us. We feel that their personality, thoughts, actions, feelings and overall success depend on us. This puts a lot of pressure on us to ensure that our kids grow up in a good way. And in turn, we put pressure on our kids to think, behave and feel in a certain way – a way which we as parent think is right.
So controlling involves forcing our “rights” and “wrongs” on our kids. Now the problem here is that we are not always right. And there is not always “one” right. Just because we believe that something is supposed to be done in a certain way, that does not mean that it is the best way, or it is the only way to do it. So, when you force your child to do something in one way, you are curbing his natural instinct to do it in his own way. This results in defiance in kids as it can be very frustrating to be always told to behave in a certain way. And it can be very stressful for you because you become very reactive – continuously trying to “correct” your child.
Happy parenting!
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