Let’s face it. We are all humans. It is but natural for us to be angry when our children misbehave, frequently and repeatedly. Most of us by now clearly understand the perils of spanking the child (Read more about this here – Hitting and Punishing Children). So our knee-jerk reaction often is to shout at them. This definitely gets their attention. However, studies show that it does way too much harm than help.
Verbal aggression – especially if it involves shouting and insulting – can impact your child’s psychological and emotional development. When more and more research studies discourage or forbid parents from using punishments, you are left completely confused and clueless on how to discipline or even parent! Read on to understand the problems of insulting your children and ways of using positive parenting techniques.
Being firm or assertive with your child is not insulting them. However, it is important to understand the boundaries. If your child is misbehaving, then it is completely ok to instruct them to stop and rectify his/her actions in a stern serious voice. However, yelling, calling them names, using extremely harsh tones and abusing them with words for their act can be classified under “insult”.
In one word, the answer is YES. Child abuse is not restricted to physical abuse. Any kind of harm and mistreatment that is done intentionally to a child is considered as child abuse. (Refer to Child Abuse – Listen to the Whispers for more on this topic).
Insulting is classified under emotional abuse. By definition, emotional abuse refers to any act by an adult that results in injuring a child’s emotional health. When you yell at your child or throw insults at them, you are chipping away bits from their self-esteem.
Insults can be of many forms. Some of them are:
Some of you might go through the above examples and tell yourself you would NEVER be such a parent. You should not be, true. However, please understand that these statements (and others) roll out quite easily from our mouth when anger takes over common sense.
Emotional abuse is termed as a silent epidemic. Most of us do not even realize we are abusing our child – there is no physical harm of evidence to show for the abuse. It is invisible, but yet as damaging as other forms of child abuse. It is breaking apart your child, his self-esteem and his psychological and emotional development. Key consequences of insulting your child are:
So you can’t beat them, you can’t scold them harshly – what can you do to discipline them? The following five tips might help you:
If, despite your better judgment you shout an insult at your child, do not hesitate to apologize. Explain to the child that your behavior was not right and you said those words without thinking. Commit not to repeat your behavior and at the same time tell your child, his/her behavior was not acceptable too.
Do not insult your kids so as to discipline them, insulting, shouting, screaming are the worst parenting mistakes, and generally tend to backfire.
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