Our site uses cookies to make your experience on this site even better. We hope you think that is sweet.
Comparison is a common approach to ascertain the performance of your child. You compare your child’s grades with others and then determine whether your kid’s academic achievements are “normal”, better or excellent. Then we resort to giving example of other children’s accomplishment as a way to motivate our own child. For instance, “Look, Archana masi’s son secured 90% in Maths” or “Your neighborhood friend Pinky stood first in signing competition”. “Learn something from other kids. Stop loitering in the neighborhood and join some classes”. You certainly don’t aim to hurt your child, but unknowingly these verbal statements do more harm than good. Comparing your child with others’ is actually making you and your child stressed and is an useless activity, but the urge is hard to resist.
Sometimes the sole motivation of comparing your child to others is to instigate competition in the child. So that this feeling can push the child to perform at par with his capabilities and excel. Competitiveness definitely is a driving force towards performance. But is this working for your child?
No two children are the same’ they have different talents, interests, develop at different rates and have different strengths. Practically speaking, parents can either build or break the confidence and self esteem of their child. Expressing unhappiness due to poor performance or bragging about his achievements; both are appropriate. Read below to know about the negative effects of comparison and the alternative approach:
Remember that every child is unique, they have different levels of interests, different strengths and weaknesses
Save yourself and your kid from undue pressure for performance. It’s more in the parents than kids :- this trait of competing and comparing. Don’t force your kid to pursue skating classes if he doesn’t like, he may be more interested in squash. Let him follow his interests and then he is sure to excel with flying colors. Your self-esteem as parents should not be linked to your child’s performance in school or sports. Remember, you are not your child; and realize it every time you push your child towards something that he does not want to do.
Now if your child complains that “you always take his side” or “you always support him, not me”, then do pay heed to his feelings. He’s not voicing his feelings out of blue, maybe your actions – verbal or non-verbal make this evident to him? Be more careful about this.
Remember, neither you can be a perfect mother nor your child can be a perfect son encompassing excellence in all fields of academics, sports or relation-wise. Everyone has to face different challenges, the situation differs from home to home. If you will think deeply, your two children will differ in their sets of abilities and skills. Just be proud of your children for what they are. Give them your love and strive to build a confident person out of your child.
As Theodore Roosevelt aptly put: Comparison is the thief of joy
So do not rob your little one from the joy of childhood. Give him space to grow!
E
erica fernandes
Jan 07, 2017
Thanks a lot to this website , i got concrete proof for my write up.
E
erica fernandes
Jan 07, 2017
Thanks a lot to this website , i got concrete proof for my write up.
Come on, sell the idea of signing up with us in two lines so well that they HAVE to sign up.
Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter Parenting
What To Do When Your Kid Swallowed A Coin?
Top 8 Reasons To Buy Best Board Games For Kids
Things Parents Should Always Have In Their Car
Get regular updates, great recommendations and other right stuff at the right time.