Listening, as it is, is a difficult thing. And to think of listening to your child seems a daunting task. Add to that the fact that when the child needs to be listened, and you may have another 1000 things running on your mind wanting you to just jump off your seat right now. However, research has it that listening to your kids makes it more likely that they listen to you (which most of us want). When a child feels listened, he is more likely to listen, and having been understood, he will understand your point of view as well. It helps parents and children form stronger bonds and relationships, and builds their self-esteem.
Talking and listening to your child holds a lot of importance, as it helps your child build a bond with you and develop his trust. It improves the bonding in a relationship, and builds a child’s confidence. Not many parents have the skill to ‘listen’, but with a conscious effort, they can develop it. And slowly, with practice, you can better it as well.
When you are trying to talk or communicate with your child you should:
Listening is not an easy task, as a parent you would be tempted to raise your voice and tell your child he is wrong. It takes a lot of patience to really hear out someone, let alone a child, as you may get to hear something that you are not happy about. Your child may say something that challenges your view or beliefs, or you may hear something that will make you want to change or it may disrupt what you think. And that is why, it is important to develop listening skills in yourself first, before getting your child to talk to you. And how do you do this?
Without you being even aware of it, your day to day behavior affects your child in many ways, shaping his or her future personality. As parents, you influence your child’s life intentionally and unintentionally both. From the tone of your voice to the words you choose, your child learns the skills necessary to interact from you – as parents are essentially a child’d first teacher. Children who are not heard, become the ones who never listen. They will always be under the impression that they are unworthy of your time and attention, and whatever they do, think or feel is negative. They lose confidence and self-esteem, which can be detrimental to their development as young adults. A child who is often judged or criticized loses interest in sharing and communicating, and ends up being bottled, alone and aloof.
Some kids are naturally expressive and they talk everything out, while some others may need a lot of encouragement to be able to talk to you. The first thing is to be open to listening and give your child your unfocused attention. Here are some tips on getting your child talk to you and be open to listening:
When you listen to your child, you get to know what they are thinking, feeling and going through. Childhood is a difficult phase, and with limited vocabulary, children often find it difficult to communicate their feelings. It is imperative that children be heard, so that they do not bottle up their feelings. It also means that your children will listen to you more, because they have been heard. This opens up avenues for healthy conversations, which are fruitful and brings parents and children closer.
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