Often parents get too caught up with grueling schedules and hectic life and end up removing their frustration on their children. Sometimes parents say things they don’t really mean and forget about it. They fail to understand how vulnerable and gullible their children are and how seriously they take things their parents say.
It is very important that parents think twice before uttering things that they might later regret. These mean things will greatly impact the child and leave a lasting impression.
10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child
Here we list some of the things that you should never, ever say to your children.
- You are useless/ good for nothing: A child is very impressionable. He sees himself and the world through his parent’s perspective. Calling your child useless, worthless and good for nothing imprints a very negative impact on a child’s mind. He might start to perceive himself like that and may have confidence issues even when he grows up. Read about negative effects of insulting children here
- Learn from your brother/ sister: Sibling relationships are very fragile. A child tends to compare himself a lot with his siblings already and when parents say things like ‘Learn from your brother/sister’ or ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother/ sister’ it doesn’t help either. Pitting siblings against each other during childhood can lead to strained relationships in the future
- You won’t be able to do it: A child needs constant encouragement and motivation. Even if a child fails at doing a certain task at the first go, parents need to be patient and give the child ample time and scope to do things on their own. Discouraging the child by saying ‘You can’t do it’ etc. will hamper the child’s ability and even his confidence
- I will send you to a boarding school: A vulnerable and emotional child might take this threatening negatively and think he is unwanted. Children are much attached and dependent on their parents and parents must not take their helplessness for granted. Also sending you child to a boarding school is not something you do out of spite. If you do have to send him/her to a boarding school, help the child to the see the bright side
- If you don’t come 1st in class I will beat you up: As the child grows parents expect them to top every single competition and test. Remember your child is just a child. Don’t burden him with your high expectation instead encourage him to do his best and even if he fails, help him to understand his mistakes and learn from his failures
- Your friend is so talented and you are not: While genuine praise is always appreciated comparing your child with his friends may create negative impact. A child does not understand healthy competition; he may misunderstand your intentions and become hostile towards the friend you are comparing him with. Read more about the subject here
- Your mom/dad is so stubborn: For a child his parents are perfect. When parents fight or argue with each other in front of the child, it disturbs the child tremendously. Similarly when parents talk negatively about each other to the child, the child might get disturbed or he/she might start perceiving the other parent negatively. Click here to read why should you never fight in front of your children
- “Get lost” and “Shut Up”: While angry, parents say things that might seem pretty harmless but what they don’t understand is that their child is picking up every single thing they do or say. Children even tend to mimic the tone and gestures, so parents need to think twice before saying such things
- I am ashamed of you: For a child there is nothing worse than disappointing his/her parents and if parents say things like ‘You embarrass me’ or ‘I am ashamed of you’ the child’s esteem is complete shattered. The fear of embarrassing and disappointing his parents might put him in a very emotional state and hamper his growth and self esteem
- I wish I had a boy/ girl instead of you: Indian parents often tend to compare girls to boys and even vice versa. A child is a gift and must be cherished no matter what the gender. When you say things like these; it not only disheartens the child but the child also develops pre-conceived notions about the opposite gender
Some parents justify their kids’ bad behavior by saying they were also naughty kids. Parents always take pride in the fact that their children are turning out like them. This doesn’t mean you encourage bad habits in children just because you did them too. A child needs to be told clearly if he is doing something wrong. Saying things like ‘I was an angry kid too’, ‘I was talkative too’ etc. will validate the child’s bad behavior and he will do nothing to change it.
A child is like molding clay, they become what you make of them. Hence, parents need to be sensitive and patient while dealing with their children. Try to set a good example to your kids so that they may look up to you, in the future as well. You are an inspiration to your children try to be a good one.