To think of it, we all are guilty of “bad parenting” at one time or other. We have been hooked onto to our phones, or socal media or somewhere else while we should have been paying attention to our kids. Sleep deprivation and the demanding 24*7 job of taking care of a baby can leave most of us exhausted beyond wits – making it hard to focus on the kids. We all make mistakes every now and then, and while there is no such things as “perfect parenting”, there are signs that read out loud that something is not right in the way we are raising our kids. Parenting is a skill which must be practiced diligently – it is one of the most challenging jobs in the world to raise a problem-free child who is a proper balance of morals, values and discipline. Each child is different and so is the parent. The idea of rearing a child differs from parent to parent.
Top 10 Signs Of Bad Parenting
We have often turned our nose upwards when elders say that current generation of parents do not how to raise a child. Let’s see what makes them say this:
1. No rules, all fun:
Are you too carefree as a parent, giving your kids the power to decide everything? In such cases, kids become their own masters, going to bed late, getting up late, doing absolutely everything at their will. Owing to hectic lifestyles and both parents working, no one does the work of disciplining the kids as life is already chaotic. If this is how your kids live their lives, this is what they will do when they visit their aunt or cousin. They simply wouldn’t know how to behave appropriately. Discipline is the only way your kids grow up knowing right and wrong. And parents need to do some real hard work to raise kids who know how to behave properly. There will be times when kids will test the parents by breaking rules, hence parents need to establish and clearly communicate the consequences of breaking those rules
2. Raising your hands:
If you scream or hit your kids, your kids will be afraid of you, detest you and start disliking you. You are ultimately increasing the distance; this form of disciplining backfires in most cases. Kids subject to physical punishment may develop psychological problems during adolescence and even turn aggressive. No matter what your instincts say, yet there is no study that states that there is any positive effect of hitting kids. You need to handle kids sensitively, spanking the child for disciplining is just not the way. Instead, talking it out reasonably with a child might enforce some positive outcome – screaming, hitting, or any other form of verbal or physical violence will simply pave the way for more troubles
3. Not giving your time:
Guilty of being glued to your phone’s screen when your child is demanding you play with her? Got an official call and cannot listen to your child telling you about his day? Stop! Your kids don’t just need food or money from you, they want to speak to you, share their experiences and sometimes need to hear your comforting words. Communication is the only thing that will strengthen your bond, not expensive gifts. The deal should be, to be the parents, kids want to hug and spend time with, not the ones who are like ATM machines. Kids may inadvertently perform odd behavior to attract parent’s attentions. As Jane Hull perfectly puts it, ‘At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents’
4. Over protection:
Being protective of your child is a natural trait – but you should know the limits. Young babies will love the way you advocate their mischief, however, as they grow up this can be viewed as restrictive and interfering. You have projected that you will always cover up their mistakes and protect them even when they are wrong. They will eventually take you for granted and develop arrogant attitude. Find out if you are an overprotective parent
5. Modelling inappropriate behavior:
“Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” – Charles Swindoll.
The way you speak, treat your partner and elders, behave in public, at home, the words you use are all being soaked up by your kids. If you often take your kids to bar, drink and abuse others, then your kids will feel that this is how they are supposed to behave too. A child looks up to his parents to understand and know how to conduct himself – parents are a child’s first role model
Its easy to spot a child being favored over others. If you corner one kid of the lot, punish or scold him more than others, then the child will definitely be hurt. This will give rise to the feelings of resentment and injustice for you. This will later appear in the form of badmouthing by your kids as they grow up. They will simply lose their trust in you. Again, comparing your child to others will also affect him negatively,and may simply make your kid unable to take on challenges of life. Read more about the negative effects of comparing your child
7. Insulting kids:
Labeling kids as lazy or dumb and using these words in public can significantly hurt a child and lower his self-esteem. Likewise, if you criticism your kids efforts, or look down upon him by comparing with others achievements, then your child may also develop feelings of jealousy and resentment. Read more about the ill effects of insulting kids
8. Fulfilling every wish:
Every parent wants the best for their child, and some can practically afford almost everything a child desires. Do you reach out to your pocket the moment your child sets his eyes on a new toy or a new dress? Hold on! Buying everything your kid lays his finger on is again a sign of bad parenting. Such kids fail to understand the value of money. They will demand anything from you anytime expecting you to present it to them, whatever your circumstances. Even after they grow up, such kids end up hopelessly on financial fronts and are unable to level responsibilities. Sometimes, this need may provoke them to steal, lie or become rude
9. Interfering too much:
Do you jump in at the very first sign that your child is in a conflict? Do you follow your child like a shadow and interfere in everything? If you try to resolve every tiff your child gets into, you are interrupting with his social development. They will grow up being overly dependent on you and fail to develop skills necessary to survive in the competitive world. Allow your kids to handle things on their own, they are capable of doing so
10. Lack of trust:
It is not uncommon for other to complaint about a child. If you believe in others’ complaints more than your kid, you are passing the signal that your child is a brute and liar. If you turn deaf ears to your child’s explanations and pleas, your child develops insecurity and may turn a rebel. This will result in hiding things from you and they will eventually even stop explaining themselves
It ultimately comes down to the parents on how they raise their kids to be responsible and good citizens. In fact, many of these traits of bad parenting have a lifelong irreversible impact on children. Watch out for the above signs and avoid them in order to support your parenting. Trust your kids, spend time with them, exchange experience and shower your love on them. Make a move today as they will be grown up quickly in no time!