Parallel Parenting – Pros and Cons

In parallel parenting, the lawyers or some mediator will usually communicate and fix schedules such as which days of the week the child will be with whom, the pick-up and drop schedules, which parent has to attend which events involving the child, etc.

Top 5 Major Benefits of Being a Parallel Parent

While it may not seem like a great decision, when you agree to become a parallel parent, you stand to enjoy the following benefits-

1. Avoid Drama

When both parents opt for parallel parenting, they can avoid dragging the child through all the unnecessary drama of custody battles or fights over parenting issues.

2. Setting Clear Boundaries

Both of you can set clear boundaries and avoid any unnecessary confusion or interference. By being a parallel parent, you can avoid dragging the bitterness between you two, when you parent the child.

3. Healthy Environment

When parents fight or ask a child to choose sides, they cause some serious trauma which many children may not grow out of. Through parallel parenting, you both are providing a more secure environment for the child to grow up in.

4. Benefit of Both Parents

Through parallel parenting, the child gets to grow up and spend quality time with both parents. They need not choose one over the other.

5. Facilitates Healing

When a couple splits up, even if amicably, emotions are sure to run high. Not meeting or communicating during such an emotional period can help them heal faster.

Are There Any Disadvantages of Parallel Parenting?

Just like any parenting method, parallel parenting has its own share of advantages and disadvantages. Some of the major disadvantages of parallel parenting are-

1. Confuses the Child

Two sets of rules, that may contradict each other in some places due to the parents’ differences, can confuse the child. Especially if it is a young child, they might find it difficult to keep track of what to do where and what to avoid mentioning or doing. It can be emotionally draining for the child.

2. Missing Out

When parents take turns, they might miss out on what is going on in their kid’s life. They may feel they are not getting the full picture of what’s going on with their children. This may happen because of the kids staying with different parents during different intervals of time. Also, if the child is small, missing out on their milestones is a very real issue that is bound to arise. One parent might get to see the child achieve the milestones, while the other only gets to hear about it. It can build resentment toward one another.

3. Can Affect the Kid

Children can tell when their parents are not on good terms. They can start feeling insecure, or develop attachment issues. A high conflict relationship between parents has on the kids.

[Read : How To Support Your Child When You Are Going Through A Divorce?]

How to Create a Parallel Parenting Plan?

When you and your partner decide to separate and opt for parallel parenting, you need to come up with a parenting plan keeping the following in mind-

• Be very clear about each partner’s timings with the kid. Be it the stay duration, pick up and drop timings, holidays, special occasions, etc., stick to the schedule
• Decide on a mediator to communicate between the parents, to avoid conflicts that can arise by meeting or communicating with each other
• Come up with a backup plan to deal with last-minute changes or cancellations. Decide how you will handle the child’s disappointments
• Decide where the pickups and drops, and meetings if necessary, will happen

Parallel parenting ensures both parents and the children do not miss out on much. The children get to grow up with both parents and both parents are a part of the children’s lives throughout. When you create a solid plan, everyone can benefit more than losing.

[Read : 10 Hacks That Make Parenting Easy]

FAQ’s

1. What is The Difference Between Parallel Parenting And Co-Parenting?

In co-parenting both parents make important decisions together. Whereas in parallel parenting, the parents do not communicate with one another and will not interfere with each other’s way of parenting either.

2. Is Parallel Parenting Harmful For The Child?

Growing up in a household where parents fight or make the child choose sides can be very traumatic for a child. When the parents decide to split up and opt for parallel parenting, they provide a more secure and stable environment for the child to grow in.

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