Are you a single parent or soon-to-be single parent who is not sure about how to parent your child or children with the other parent? Don’t know how to parent your child without crossing each other’s boundaries or dragging the child into all the chaos? Don’t worry, both of you can successfully parent your child or children through parallel parenting.

According to ResearchGate, a child’s behavior is directly related to the style of parenting they are experiencing. When you and your partner decide to split ways, it can be hard on the child but with parallel parenting, you can ensure your child has a secure childhood as they grow up.  Read on to find out how you and your partner can parent amicably, with the child’s welfare as the focus. 

In This Article

• What is Parallel Parenting?
• Top 5 Major Benefits of Being a Parallel Parent
• Are There Any Disadvantages of Parallel Parenting?
• How to Create a Parallel Parenting Plan?
• FAQ’s

What is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting is a method of parenting where both parents do not meet or communicate much. Though they are parenting the same child or children, they do not usually discuss and take decisions mutually. They have clear and strict boundaries to ensure the interaction is minimal and everything goes on smoothly. The parents will also avoid commenting on, or interfering with each other’s rules and methods of parenting.

In parallel parenting, the lawyers or some mediator will usually communicate and fix schedules such as which days of the week the child will be with whom, the pick-up and drop schedules, which parent has to attend which events involving the child, etc.

Top 5 Major Benefits of Being a Parallel Parent

While it may not seem like a great decision, when you agree to become a parallel parent, you stand to enjoy the following benefits-

1. Avoid Drama

When both parents opt for parallel parenting, they can avoid dragging the child through all the unnecessary drama of custody battles or fights over parenting issues.

2. Setting Clear Boundaries

Both of you can set clear boundaries and avoid any unnecessary confusion or interference. By being a parallel parent, you can avoid dragging the bitterness between you two, when you parent the child.

3. Healthy Environment

When parents fight or ask a child to choose sides, they cause some serious trauma which many children may not grow out of. Through parallel parenting, you both are providing a more secure environment for the child to grow up in.

4. Benefit of Both Parents

Through parallel parenting, the child gets to grow up and spend quality time with both parents. They need not choose one over the other.

5. Facilitates Healing

When a couple splits up, even if amicably, emotions are sure to run high. Not meeting or communicating during such an emotional period can help them heal faster.

Are There Any Disadvantages of Parallel Parenting?

Just like any parenting method, parallel parenting has its own share of advantages and disadvantages. Some of the major disadvantages of parallel parenting are-

1. Confuses the Child

Two sets of rules, that may contradict each other in some places due to the parents’ differences, can confuse the child. Especially if it is a young child, they might find it difficult to keep track of what to do where and what to avoid mentioning or doing. It can be emotionally draining for the child.

2. Missing Out

When parents take turns, they might miss out on what is going on in their kid’s life. They may feel they are not getting the full picture of what’s going on with their children. This may happen because of the kids staying with different parents during different intervals of time. Also, if the child is small, missing out on their milestones is a very real issue that is bound to arise. One parent might get to see the child achieve the milestones, while the other only gets to hear about it. It can build resentment toward one another.

3. Can Affect the Kid

Children can tell when their parents are not on good terms. They can start feeling insecure, or develop attachment issues. A high conflict relationship between parents has on the kids.

[Read : How To Support Your Child When You Are Going Through A Divorce?]

How to Create a Parallel Parenting Plan?

When you and your partner decide to separate and opt for parallel parenting, you need to come up with a parenting plan keeping the following in mind-

• Be very clear about each partner’s timings with the kid. Be it the stay duration, pick up and drop timings, holidays, special occasions, etc., stick to the schedule
• Decide on a mediator to communicate between the parents, to avoid conflicts that can arise by meeting or communicating with each other
• Come up with a backup plan to deal with last-minute changes or cancellations. Decide how you will handle the child’s disappointments
• Decide where the pickups and drops, and meetings if necessary, will happen

Parallel parenting ensures both parents and the children do not miss out on much. The children get to grow up with both parents and both parents are a part of the children’s lives throughout. When you create a solid plan, everyone can benefit more than losing.

[Read : 10 Hacks That Make Parenting Easy]

FAQ’s

1. What is The Difference Between Parallel Parenting And Co-Parenting?

In co-parenting both parents make important decisions together. Whereas in parallel parenting, the parents do not communicate with one another and will not interfere with each other’s way of parenting either.

2. Is Parallel Parenting Harmful For The Child?

Growing up in a household where parents fight or make the child choose sides can be very traumatic for a child. When the parents decide to split up and opt for parallel parenting, they provide a more secure and stable environment for the child to grow in.

Read Also: RIE Parenting: How Does it Work?

• RIE Parenting: What does it Mean?
• How Does RIE Parenting Technique Work?
• What Are the Methods of Implementing RIE Parenting?
• What are the Pros & Cons of RIE Parenting?

RIE Parenting: What does it Mean?

RIE or Resource for Infant Educarers’ parenting approach focuses on building a strong relationship with the kids rather than providing them with what they require. Before providing and teaching the babies everything, it is crucial to understand their emotions and know more about them. Every child has their passion, ideas, and talents. Once you get to know the child well, you can facilitate their needs more appropriately. The focus is mainly on observing the child rather than guiding them. Toddler’s independence and building trust is the main philosophy of RIE parenting.

How Does RIE Parenting Technique Work?

Interaction is the root on which RIE parenting grows. Here are few things that you could follow to understand how the RIE technique works.

1. Let the Child Self-Learn & Explore the World Around Them:

Every parent is very excited in the parenting phase and tries to give the best things to their children. But, does your child need it? Does your child like it? We do not know, because we offer them and they use it. When it comes to the RIE parenting method, parents play the role of an observer. Let the child explore the world around them and learn things slowly. There is no hurry-burry to teach everything sooner. Instead, let them play and observe what they do, look at things, what interests them the most, and then decide what they require. The parents play the role of an observer and a friend and then guide them rather than a dictator.

2. Communication is the Key to the Lock:

It is essential to have one-on-one communication with your child. Explain to your child what you are doing, how things are happening, and what to expect. For example, when you bathe your child, narrate to them how to bathe. Explain to them how fresh it would feel after a bath. Tell them why it is essential to take a bath. Play the role of a narrator with more emotions and actions. This way, the children try to understand what would happen next and can learn naturally. Slow and steady is the mantra. You can be the role model they will follow for all that they pick up from you- be it sticking to schedules, clean habits, or other things.

3. Tell Them it is OK to Express:

As parents, we never want our children to be sad. Whenever we find them fussy or crying, we immediately rock them, sing to them, dance to them, give them what they want to make sure they don’t cry. The RIE childcare suggests that it is absolutely fine if the child is sad and wants to cry. They need to know all the emotions of pain, grief, joy, happiness, and a lot more of other emotions. When you do something to stop their feeling, children perceive it as not to express that emotion. It is always better to let the children know it is acceptable to express themselves and not bottle them up to have a healthy lifestyle.

What Are the Methods of Implementing RIE Parenting?

Now that you understood how RIE works, let us discuss how to implement it.

• Give them free and uninterrupted time to play and do what they want. It will help the children to explore, learn new things and develop new interests.
• Play the role as an observer and not as a controller.
• Constant communication is the essential rule. You have to communicate effectively and consistently.
• Keep encouraging and allowing them to express their emotions.

What are the Pros & Cons of RIE Parenting?

Every coin has two sides, and the RIE parenting method is not an exception. So now let’s look at the advantages and disadvantages of RIE parenting.

Pros:

• There are no hard and fast rules to be followed. There is no correct way of parenting. Whatever suits you and your child is the right way.
• RIE parenting focuses on treating you and the child as two different individuals. You have to make time for yourself. At the same time, the other parenting method concentrates only on the child’s needs and ignores your time and self-care.
• RIE childcare ensures that your child owns their feelings. You do not stop them from expressing their emotions.
• This technique, as it’s based on exploration, makes the child develop faster.
• Your child will have independence. You allow them to work on a self-directed play and not a scheduled game. It will enable them to make their decisions and thus develop cognitive abilities, creativity, and imagination.

Cons:

• If your kid is dependent on you for playing or entertainment, you will face difficulty in transiting to this method.
• Allowing the child to express emotions is impressive. But, if the kid gets used to the fact that crying can bring them what they need, you will find more crying in the house.
• Since the kids do not have any specific schedules, it can make them less productive.
• Since they are learning on their own, they may fall behind their peers in terms of knowledge & learning.
• The kids may start taking advantage of the freedom, which can hamper their mental and psychological growth.

Parenting is a beautiful phase and an art. Every parent has a unique way of bringing up their children. So, if you follow any other modern parenting technique, think of your suitability to RIE parenting and implement it wherever required.

Also Read:

Gender Neutral Parenting

Overprotective Parenting

• What is Gender-Neutral?
• What is Gender-Neutral Parenting?
• Is Gender Neutral Parenting a Good Idea?
• Gender Neutral Terms for Parent
• Pros and Cons/Impact on Child

What is Gender-Neutral?

Let’s first get a clear picture of what we are exactly addressing in this article.

Similarly parenting both boys and girls, with the same values, lessons, etc is called gender-neutral parenting. It is a style of parenting that does not change just because the gender of the child is different.

Here the parents do not subject and restrict the child to gender stereotypes such as blue for boy and pink for a girl; car toys for boys and dolls for girls, etc.

A baby, when born, is a gender-neutral baby because it does not know what society sees as a “boy’s behavior” and a “girl’s behavior”. All babies look the same, be it a boy or a girl. The very first question a stranger asks you when they see your tiny baby is – “Is it a boy or a girl?”

What is Gender-Neutral Parenting?

When you don’t restrict your child by saying “only boys do that, girls don’t play with that” and allow your child to explore and learn more about their own interests, you are opening doors to gender neutrality.

We have been brought up with very strong beliefs about what a girl or a boy can or cannot do. We have been conditioned by society about what is acceptable and not acceptable, based on our gender.

Today’s parents are more open-minded and realize just because a boy likes pink color or a girl prefers fast bikes to ballet classes, it doesn’t make them any less of a boy or a girl respectively. Parents are ready to let their children find their interests and forge their own paths instead of blindly following societal expectations.

Is Gender Neutral Parenting a Good Idea?

In today’s world, it most definitely is. When women are forging their path in solely “male-dominated areas” and men showing excellence in things considered “feminine”, it is healthy to let your child explore both worlds.

Raising a gender-neutral child who is allowed to follow their passion is very healthy and allows them to be themselves without having to hide. Gender-neutral children do not hesitate to show or tell the world what they like and what they are good at. They do not get bullied by societal expectations and stigmas.

Gender Neutral Terms for Parent:

When you say or are committed to raising gender-neutral children, you are open to the idea of letting your gender-neutral child follow their dreams and passion, without letting their gender become a deciding or influencing factor.

So, how exactly can you address your child and their interests? Most of us have grown up with the gender differences ingrained in our upbringing, so much so that it will spill out in our conversations with our child, unintentionally.

Try to replace gender-specific words with neutral words. Here are a few gender-neutral terms a parent can use with their child:

• Instead of ma’am or sir, use teacher
• Try to avoid the words – headmaster or headmistress, use director or principal
• Instead of a policeman or policewoman, use a police officer

When you are committed to gender-neutral parenting, you will learn to replace terms as you go.

Pros and Cons/Impact on Child:

So what are the good and the bad effects of gender-neutral parenting on a child?

Pros:

• Your child is allowed to explore various areas of interest without the gender restriction imposed by society
• Your child can be frank with you about their interests and even gender identification at a later stage
• You are raising healthy children with a broad mentality towards different genders and not just males and females.
• Your children will grow up to be very compassionate towards those who don’t identify themselves as just male or female. This will make the world a better place!

Cons:

• If your boy decides to play with dolls or if your girl chooses typical toys designed for boys, they can be bullied by peers and sometimes even elders in the society
• Stores are rarely gender-neutral when it comes to clothes. It may be difficult to find clothes for your boy in “girlish” colors or vice-versa
• If your child does not identify with any particular gender, they might find it difficult to mingle with their peers as the world is still not broad-minded enough to let this slide
• Children might find it difficult to fit into school rules that generally involves gender-specific uniforms

Just like any parenting style, gender-neutral parenting has its own set of advantages and disadvantages too. However, every parent should remember, they are responsible for the next generation. Unless you teach your child about gender neutrality, even if you don’t follow it yourself, your child may not be the inclusive type when it comes to different genders.

Also Read to know some of the other Parenting Styles

Democratic Parenting

Helicopter Parenting 

Overprotective Parenting

Upgrade Parenting

Mindful parenting is a way of adding the right twist in our existing ways of parenting. So start with knowing your regular life.Note your patterns of behaviour and their impact on your kids. This step will help in knowing how we can upgrade ourselves.

Start simple

It always helps to choose the shifts that are simple, to begin with. We always learn numbers first and then the calculations, right? – The same rule applies in getting started with mindful parenting, too. To stay consistent, choose changes that are easy to make, yet add the required to shift to our parenting.

Take one step at a time

Ask your children what irritates them about your behaviour and vice versa. Create a list of habits to be changed. However, start with one. Let’s say you want to start with gadget detoxing. Then start with 30 minutes of no gadgets in a day.Ask the children to monitor it. Once you are comfortable with 30 minutes, increase the time to 1 hour, so on and so forth. This helps you in being disciplined while illustrates for them how to stand by your choices.

Pay attention

When you are doing something with your kids or by yourself, observe how you do it. Note how easily you get angry or distressed around kids. Sometimes being aware itself helps in bridging the gap between current behaviour and the way you’d like to parent.

Be patient

To enjoy this process, be patient with yourself and the little ones. Note down the habits you want to change. Then, make a pact with your kids to adhere to the required changes. Make the process a play for them and you, but understand changes take time to happen.

Be consistent

The tiny heads will notice as and when you slip the path of change and also follow it. So whenever you find yourself losing the track, add something that will keep you interested in the process. You can make creative posters with happy slogans around the changes you wish to make in your parenting. Or even decide a penalty with your kids to avoid losing track.
Start sharing with your friends, how you are involving mindful parenting in your daily life. Also, tell them how this change is impacting your kids. Inspire them to join you and have fun along the journey.
So, let’s upgrade to the new-age parenting.
Source – www.hurraykids.com

Lessons learned in the early days go a long way and become a part of your nature. Cleaning is one such aspect that if imbibed at the right age will ensure a disciplined and healthy life throughout. Managing growing kids is an onerous task. They leave no stone unturned in their quest to explore and learn new things and in the process leave back a mess to be cleaned up by their parents. The parents often look out for an external source of help to make their task easier. Their life becomes dependent on the maid or the house helper. A day without them is difficult to survive. Are you facing a similar struggle? Are you on a lookout for ideas to make your work easier and save some time for yourself? Read on to know your way out of this problem!

How To Get Your Kids To Clean Up?

The task of cleaning and maintaining a clean environment can be easy and fun when you engage your kids in the process. A day in a kid’s life is all about play. They look for every opportunity to play and not sit idle. So why not make the process of cleaning a part of their play. Kids are always happy to help the elders with their work. It makes them feel confident about themselves and they look forward to opportunities to prove their talent and intelligence. Instead of looking for external help to clear up the mess, engage your kids in the act. This will make them feel a lot more happy and responsible in their acts. It is not very easy to get the kids engaged in such tasks. If they feel the process is boring, they would sooner or later start hating the concept of cleaning, which actually is very common among the kids. The only way to arrest their interests is by making the entire process fun. It would motivate them to give their best.

8 Helpful Tips To Make Cleaning Fun For Kids

If you feel the struggle of keeping the house clean with growing kids running around the house, here are few ways by which can get your work done:

1. 1. Make the process a game: Kids hate to do things on order. They have a mind of their own and prefer being treated as individuals. They hate if someone encroaches on their play time. So in order to get them interested in the cleaning activities, make the process a game. Give them simple and easy to do tasks that can be completed in a stipulated time period. Clock them for the activity they do. This instills a feeling of challenge within them. For instance, the activity can be dusting the windows of the house. If you have more than a single child, you can divide the rooms amongst the kids. If it’s just you and your child, then you can compete against each other
   2. Give them interesting tools to use: You can make your kids do activities that they would enjoy and to some extent link to their interests. For example, if your kid loves flowers and playing in the garden give him/her a hose pipe and ask to water the plants in the garden. If your kid likes to paint, give him/her a water spray bottle and ask to wipe down the window panes
   3. Make it musical: Good Music is known to make the environment in a room vibrant and it lights up the mood of everyone around. You might be aware of your kid’s favorite dance numbers. Play them loud while you guys get to clean the house. Show few dance moves as you move across the room and get your kid to do the same. This would arrest his/her interest in the activity and he/she would associate the act of cleaning with fun
   4. Play the colour game: Colour game can be fun with toddlers and early school goers. Identify a
      color and tell your kids to pick up things of the said color and place them at their correct/original place. You may keep a timer for this activity. This will add more fun to the task

1. Make a to-do list: Like you have a to-do-list for every day, make one for your kid too. Stick up both the list beside each other on the fridge or someplace where you kid can notice it. A to-do list besides yours will make him/her feel responsible towards the house. Kids often look up and learn from the acts of their parents. They tend to imitate your tasks so as to feel like a grown up like you and to grab your attention. This to-do list will make them happier and they will be eager to prove themselves at the task given
2. Set rewards: Kids love it when they are appreciated and rewarded for the tasks they do. To get them help you clean up the house, set rewards for the act. The one who finishes the work first gets the reward
3. Find the treasure: You can hide small treasures like chocolates which your kid likes in different parts of the house and tell your kids to discover the treasure as he /she help you clean the house. Hide it somewhere near the mess, so that the kid is forced to clean up the mess to reach the treasure
4. Keep it short and simple: Any activity for a long duration can spoil the fun element and make it look and feel tedious. Keep the cleaning activity restricted for a short period. It should not be more than 15-20 mins. Plan and schedule the cleaning activities over the entire week so that house gets cleaned and at the same time the excitement and fun element of the activity is not lost

What Household Chores Can The Kids Do?

Here are few tasks that your kid can help you with. Please ensure the chores are age appropriate and your kid is able to do it without any difficulty.

• Dusting around the house
• Folding the washed and dried clothes
• Tiding up the toys in his/her room
• Setting and clearing the table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
• Watering the plants
• Cleaning the window panes
• Setting up the bed
• Cleaning the floors after playing with colors, paints or water games

Finally, be sure that you are equally involved with your kid and work alongside him during the cleaning tasks. Try and keep the tasks independent for your kids and at times you may have to overlook the little standards of cleanliness. Kids can be fabulous cleaning helpers if you make the process fun and interesting for them. Also read: Teach Your Child To Keep His Room Clean With Simple Tips
Hope the article has been of help to you. If you have anything more to add to the above or wish to share your experience, please share your views in the comments section below.

We all know how unplanned, unstructured and undefined food intake on a sustained basis throws our digestive track off gear. Drawing a parallel with this, an unstructured routine completely throws off our life, in broad terms. Extrapolate this to the entire family, and imagine the damage poor family routines do to everyone! Read here to know how important family routines are in your life.

How Do Family Routines Simplify Your Life?

An unplanned morning can lead to unwarranted delays, bad moods, poor concentration and a general feeling of uneasiness and indolence. It could lead to skipping the most important meal of the day – the breakfast – resulting in an upset stomach followed by malaise. An unplanned morning can upset your sleep cycle, fitness cycle, food cycle and entertainment (read relaxation) cycle. Having a disciplined family routine can change all this for the better and simplify your life! The key is to keep at it!

• Develops basic work skills: Routines play a crucial role in teaching children healthy habits and manners. Basics such as brushing teeth, exercising, caring for the body and hair, washing hands after using the toilet, wearing clean clothes and organizing them well are instrumental in developing basic work skills
• Lowers stress levels: Whether it is setting a routine around bath time, bed time, mealtime, household chores and work such as washing, cleaning and doing the laundry, setting time aside for extended family get togethers or a family vacation, a routine makes you take control of the situation and makes you feel organized. This in turn lowers your stress levels and offers you a lot of mental peace at the end of the day
• Time management skills: Setting a time for every daily, monthly or annual chore makes you excel in time management. It also helps you manage your time efficiently and respect everybody else’s time as well
• Encourages discussions: resolves conflicts: Once a family routine is set, it permits very little space for bickering, argument and debate. It enables everyone involved to make decisions faster and resolve unwarranted disputes. Minor tweaks in the schedule can be accommodated and are much-better appreciated if they occur once a while
• Teaches self-reliance and embeds discipline: As routines become a part of your child’s life, they become more independent and disciplined. As they grow, routines offer them a sense of responsibility and awareness
• Offers emotional security and acceptance: As children hit puberty, family routines offer them considerable relief from the emotional and physical turmoil they face. Much to your surprise, an adolescent feels better accepted, respected and secure when they are engaged in a certain family routine
• Builds cohesion in a family: Routines are an excellent source for building healthy family relationships, and strengthening your bond with the children. Reading together or playing soccer on weekends, or playing a musical instrument together as the family spends time with each other after dinner, can be great times for getting to know each other better and enjoying each other’s company as a family

How Can You Make Your Routines Work?

Merely stating these things does not help. As the adage goes practice makes a man perfect. Implementing a family routine is a task. How can one make their routines work?

• Take small steps: You can start by adding small responsibilities to every member’s daily schedule. It is important to take it slow and take one step at a time
• Reflect on the existing routine: While building and implementing a family routine, reflect on the existing one. Evaluate what needs to change and decide how you would like it to change, to affect behavioral outcomes
• Be realistic: While you may want more family time together, work and study schedules might not permit you to set routines to that effect. Keeping your goals realistic and specific will help at such times
• Create a structure: You may structure your routine as morning, after-school, evening, dinner time and bed time. You can also create a structure as per the age group of your family members such as toddlers and preschoolers, school-going children, teenagers, parents and grandparents. A structure can bring in perspective and make your routine manageable
• Prioritize: You could build weekly, monthly and annual routines that are aligned with your family goals. It is important to prioritize your tasks and chores, and mention the value-creating chores at the top of the list
• Be flexible: Try as much as you wish but rigid routines will build resistance among family members, and will eventually fail. Remember to be flexible and mold your routines as per your needs
• Be persistent: While it may tempt you to give in to your family’s resistance to routines or sheer laziness to continue with it, it is important to keep at it. Being persistent helps in maintaining the significance of your resolve
• Seek support: Include and involve your spouse in your plans. Having both the parents build a family routine together positively impacts children, and makes it easier to engage them in routine chores

A healthy, flexible and happy family routine pays rich dividends, simplifies our lives, and binds family members together! After all, that is what each of us strives for!
Do you have a fixed routine in your family? How does it benefit each one of one? Do share your experiences in the comments section below.

There have been a lot of discussions about how important it is to strike the right work-life balance. Of course, we all know that it is essential to have a healthy mix of work and personal commitments. But that’s easier said than done, especially when it comes to caring for children. As a working parent, I’m sure you dread that mid-day call from the school asking you to pick up your sick child. Or the middle-of-the-night stomach flu, followed by high temperature that your child contracts. While the heart is not willing to leave your sick child with the nanny or at daycare, the head is thinking of all the tasks you need to complete at work the next day. How, then, do you deal with this conflict?
All of us have been through this situation, and learn to cope with this challenge as the situation demands. It’s not easy, and there will be days when you just cannot make it to the office. Here’s what you can do to make it as non-stressful as possible for yourself at such times.

• Make your child comfortable. Your child is your top priority. Give her medication, and take her to the doctor if required. Dress her in comfy clothes, and feed her whatever she is able to eat. You can help her sleep, or find a book for her to read in bed.
• Provide support to your child. Spend time reading or playing simple non-strenuous games with her, or get her books or TV to keep her busy. You should also explain to her that you might need to work for part of the time.
• Take things calmly. Don’t stress; think through your priorities at home as well as work. Finish your chores as per your usual routine, keeping your day free for doctor visits, helping your child and any work-related tasks you may need to complete from home.
• Email your boss and also call up. Message your superior and team members before the start of the workday, and explain the situation. You should list out the status of your current projects, and ask for any urgent tasks to be assigned to colleagues.
  
• Ask office colleagues for help. Prioritise follow-ups required as well as urgent tasks, and ask colleagues to help out. Email clear instructions (with a copy to your superior), and be available on phone and email to clear doubts or answer questions.
• Offer to work from home. Postpone your meetings or convert them to conference calls. You could also work from home, if your child can be left alone for brief periods of time.

What if your superior demands that you come to work when your child is sick?

There may be times when your superior is not too sympathetic to your situation, and demands that you complete your work. Don’t panic or lose your temper. Be calm and reasonable and offer to work from home, or come in on the weekend to meet deadlines. Say that you will be available on phone and email through the day.
That said, it is important to plan for such sick days in advance. Your sick child will surely wreak havoc with your work schedule sometime or the other. Having a back-up plan in place will help lessen your own anxiety in such situations. Here are some things you can do:

• Save up a few sick days of your own. You could use these to take time off for such unforeseen circumstances.
• Be prepared and create a plan with your superior. Talk to your boss proactively and work out a flexi work schedule for such days.
• Be up-to-date on your work. Try to manage your work efficiently, by completing important tasks first. This helps keep your projects on track, even if you have to take a day off in an emergency.
• Telecommute or work from home. Keep your laptop work-ready.
• Work out a plan with your partner to care for a sick child.
• Have a support network in place. Find backup caregivers amongst your extended family and friends. Also look for daycare facilities you can use in emergencies.
• Do your utmost to prevent illnesses. Try to make sure that your child is up-to-date on her immunisations. Don’t neglect that cold which could lead to the flu tomorrow. There is only so much you will be able to do, but it surely is worth the effort and will save you at least a few illnesses.

Illnesses are a part and parcel of a child’s and a parent’s life. Plan in advance on how you will tackle your work schedule in such situations. This will help you in the long run. Your children are going to grow up, and you won’t need to juggle home and office pressures forever. Be prepared and enjoy this phase of life as well.

The sibling relationship is the most significant and enduring one. It is one of the most memorable in one’s life as it has an important role in shaping up one’s personality. Even though parents are considered accountable for molding or shaping up a kid’s personality but they are much more predisposed to their brothers or sisters attitude and mannerisms. The sibling attachments can be full or warmth or love and simultaneously could have fondness or some degree of irritation as well. It is often seen that some siblings become the best of friends but rarely enemies. However, whatever be the case, what is missing in today’s time, is the sibling bonding as all young children want to be tuned to their own lives, gadgets, likes and dislikes. So let’s do a brief study to see how we should be encouraging sibling coalition and make a positive impact on young children. Though we cannot ascertain the future, if we instill some ground family rules in the kids it will definitely help in nurturing a happy and resilient bond.

Tips To Encourage Sibling Bonding In Young Children

Few tips that can help in fostering the sibling bond are enumerated as below:

• • Family Time: It is of utmost importance that children adhere to family time and understand the importance of their families which also helps them in valuing their sibling counterparts. It is important for the young children to bond with other family members, play together when the family plays together as it allows the kids to set role models to play a fair game and leads to a harmonious relationship. Even though parents cannot be a part of the game always as they have their own set of responsibility, or when kids grow up, they want their own time, but if the spadework is done earlier, it makes the kids habitual to play with each other.Family time is prime for a healthy development of a child and also boosts and encourages them to understand the value and importance of their siblings. As has been rightly said by Jeffrey Kluger – “There may be no relationship, that’s closer, finer, harder, sweeter, happier, sadder, more filled with joy or fraught with woe, than the relationship we have with our brothers and sisters.”
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  • Affirmative and Optimistic Parenting Styles For parents, all the kids are same. Yet we tend to shout, yell or get a little violent with the elder one expecting him to be more understanding than the younger one, which almost damages the self-respect or esteem of the child. In retrospect of which the older child often replicate the parent’s style and harasses or bullies the younger one. Efforts should thus be made to reinforce positive and affirmative styles of parenting leading to a healthy parent-child relationship and also propounds respect for the sibling relationship and puts the siblings in high reverence as they have less competition with each other and understand each other
    

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• • Cut down sibling rivalry by boosting one’s dignity: In order to encourage sibling bonding, it is of utmost importance that comparison of kids intentionally or unintentionally is stopped. High time, the child needs to be heard or understood. The concept of sibling rivalry is triggered more when the mother or father praise one kid on any accomplishment leading the other kid to a complex.The kids need to be happy and proud of themselves than the parents telling them.Since every kid is different, their accomplishments will be different and could be also in varied spheres, it is important to give equal attention to both kids, understand their point of view and promote their healthy relationship by setting positive examples of each so that they instill confidence and respect for each other. It is also vital to portray healthy behavior for which we need to stop naming the child as “good or bad”. Foster closeness by playing affection games like pillow fight, soft wrestling so that both the kids get time with each other and parents as well

The chart below shows all the steps we should take in order to build the bond between the siblings.

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• • Sharing and handling equal responsibility: For the siblings to respect each other and bond well, the parents need to head equal responsibility to both so that they both feel a sense of achievement. An elder sibling will obviously cater more owing to the age and other strengths but the younger one can do small jobs, that ways both of them will respect each other and will look forward to each other’s cooperation in finishing any task related to the family. It is not important to see how much one works but more important is to see that they both are contributing together to something.Sometimes, we need to offer the elder sibling to take care of the younger one with full affection and attend to the younger one’s needs.That ways they role model as a second parent and reciprocate more and make an effort to offer solutions to the younger one’s needs than looking at parents for little or small need. In return of which the younger one also starts looking at the elder one for help and support if in need other than parents.Also talking with love, interacting with the child, listening and understanding child, following a set regime, inculcating cultural values. All of these and more go hand in hand to encourage sibling bonding as the kids understand what is important for one is actually for all, and they all are one. Below is a table which talks about the parenting styles and their outcomes.
    

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Thus, we can say that sibling bonding is very crucial for the development of young children. It is extremely important to strengthen the roots of sibling bonding in the early stages to relish its fruit later. The initial stages are the delicate phases which if not handled with proper care and caution can lead to sibling rivalry and hatred in the later days of life. Let togetherness inculcate from the start and be an enduring and consistent for years to come.

Children can be very difficult to deal with at times. After a hard day at work, dealing with a fussy and moody kid throwing tantrums and demanding things at their beck and call can be very exhausting and annoying for a parent. However, we forget that like us even kids have their best days and not so good days when they act moody and request to indulge in few things are their only way to deal with such days. This may not be the case always and sometimes it may be just their need to feel pampered and at times they make unreasonable requests for the sake of it.

Some days using the word “no” would make you seem like villains of the happiness in their life, leaving your kids in a grumpy mood. You denying them something would be for their own good, but the little hearts fail to understand your thoughts. Have you ever felt guilty of saying “no” to your kid’s requests? Have you wished to know of a better way to tackle the situation that saying an outright “no”? Well, read on to know your way out of these dicey situations.

Why Should You Avoid Saying”NO” Often?

Most of the time, uttering the word “no” happens to be a quick response to protect your child from doing something that would hurt him/her or teach them about the dangerous consequences that their actions may result in. An unexplained “no” would leave the child confused and frustrated. Excessive use of the word “no” may also be associated with something bad and make your kid more curious and make him act as a rebel and throw tantrums. A “no” without an explanation can make the kid want to know the reason and can be taken up as a challenge to know the consequence of it. Avoiding a direct “no” with an explanation or alternative options makes the child optimistic and look at the situation from different perspectives.

20 Alternatives To Saying No To Children Without Saying No

1. Agree with your kid: Agree with what your kid demands, but package it in a different manner. For instance, if your kid demands to have ice cream before dinner, agree to him/her and say “yes we can enjoy a bowl of ice cream but after dinner”. In a way, you are denying him/her from it before dinner, but the child may not realize it cause of the way you have presented the entire thing
2. Offer an alternative: It is not possible to meet all your child’s demands. In such cases look for an alternative that would best meet his/her demand. For instance, your child may demand of a toy that his friend might possess, but you may not be able to afford the same or it may not be to your liking. In such cases present a better alternative with good enough reasons stating the alternate toy’s advantages. It would make your child feel happy and better to be gifted something than nothing at all
3. Offer a choice to your child: You can try and offer a choice to your child. This trick tends to work at times. For instance if your child insists on having an ice cream or chocolate before dinner and you do not wish to give him/her the same, then you may suggest that he/she can have one bowl of ice cream or a chocolate before dinner or have two bowls of ice cream or 2 chocolates after dinner. Let them choose from the options and make a decision for themselves. Most of the times they tend to choose the latter
4. Distract your child : If you do not wish to agree to the demands of your child, then distract him/her from the thought of it but suggesting something that is even more interesting. You may continue building up from there on and in some time your child may forget of what he had demanded
5. Engage in a play: You can act up as a monster that would eat up the kid who demanded an ice cream or chocolate and follow the kid around the house as he/she runs away from you. Your child will forget everything during the play, get tired and finally manage to finish to food and try to get some sleep. However, this is little risky as once a play has started it is difficult to get the kids back to the dinner table within short span of time
6. Check with authority figures: Kids tend to be little scared around doctors. They try and put up their best behaviors around a person of authority like their doctors, teachers etc. You can act as if you need to get their permission before indulging into something and they would have to wait until the next meeting with the teacher or doctor to get anything they demand of
7. Join them: You can join them and behave as if you too wish to have the ice –cream before the supper, however, due to the rule of no ice-creams before dinner you will have to finish your dinner first. Make sad faces and join them and show that you share the same feelings as them
8. Play around with imaginations: Kids can be easily distracted from the main topic with little effort. All you need to do is to weave an imaginary story and in the story, there may be lots and lots of what they desire. Build the story and slowly distract the child from the object of desire to something interesting. They then gradually mull over it and forget other things
9. Explain the logic to your child: Kids fail to see the logic behind our blatant “no”. Explaining to them the logic or reason for the disapproval gives them a reason to ponder over their request and may later agree with what you say. They prefer to be dealt like grownups at times and like it when parents take an effort to have a talk with them
10. Bring their storybook characters to life: Pose questions like “what would Barbie do to have ice cream if her mother did not allow her?” When kids learn clean habits and lessons, they implement the same when they play with their toys. They would not like their favorite toys /characters acting bad or as a rebel and hence they themselves would behave well and tend to listen to what you say. And if you build up around the story and get the kid involved in the by asking various questions, they eventually forget what they had demanded
11. Remind the child of a prior instance: Reminding kids of a prior instance and the consequence faced (if the consequence was bad) may make them back out from their demand. Though ideally, this is not a favored method, because it may spoil the mood of your child; there is no harm in trying it for once
12. Make your child say “no” : You can try putting the ball in your child’s court and let him/her say a no. For instance, if your child requests for snack sometime before the dinner, you can suggest to head straight for the dinner instead and check with your child if isn’t that a better option than to kill the appetite with a snack
13. Use nonverbal signs: From the very beginning teach your baby to recognize your body language that conveys”stop” to your child. Using nonverbal signs like raising your eyebrow, putting up your hand in a “stop” gesture can communicate to your child without you having to use the word “no”
14. Teach stop sounds: Words play a major role when you want to say no positively to your child. It is necessary that your child should soon learn to differentiate which discipline words are more powerful and demand a quicker response than others. Children should soon which tone of voice means business and which allows them some liberty. As a parent, arm yourself with different “stop- what you are doing” sounds so that you can choose the one that fits the situation. So this way you can communicate to your child by using a firmer tone and without using the negative word “no”
15. Use feelings: At times it becomes a challenging task to reason out with your toddler or younger children. So if your child doesn’t understand your explanation then another way of conveying to him is by using feelings or emotions. Like for example instead of just using words like”no” or”stop that” you can say”it hurts my ears and makes me sad when you shout at me”. This way you are conveying the message. This way you are teaching your child to be empathetic
16. Show and tell: Sometimes when you say your child to stop doing a thing, they don’t stop what they are doing as they don’t know what to do instead. As parents, you need to help them figure it out. So instead of saying outwardly”No” to a thing, show and tell them what you want them to do. For example, if you see your kid hitting a cat, just say”be gentle” and you guide his hand in a stroking motion. You will have to do it several times before your child figures it out himself
17. Ask for time and give a deadline: If your child asks you for something then instead of saying a firm “no” just tell your child you will need some time to think about the demand and maybe get back to your child by next day morning. There is nothing wrong in buying time to think about the demand and the situation on hand. Be sure to give a deadline so that you are not bombarded repeatedly by the request
18. Look past the current conflict: When your kid demands something, it may not be actually something he wants, you can consider what else would have happened in that day that could have led to forming such a conflict. Like for example, if you child throws a tantrum at supermarket or troubles his baby sister then try and figure out what led to this- is it that you have paid less attention to him than his sister or is he acting like this because he did not get his afternoon nap and so on
19. Get strategic: When you say to your child “don’t stand on the sofa”, all she hears is “stand on the sofa” instead its more effective to say” please keep your feet on the ground”, then this is more effective than a “no or don’t”. The point is not to over correct your child but create a balanced parenting style that is consistent, clear and positive
20. Use a signboard: The idea here is very simple. As a part of an art project, involve your child to make two signboards that say” Ok and not Ok”. So the next time your child makes a contentious demand, just use the “not Ok” sign and let her know your decision. The only way this trick works is if it is a two-way signal. Keep these signs in an accessible place, so when you ask your child to do something for you, she can use these signboards to say if she is not Ok doing that thing

So remember, while saying no to your children is good for them to hone self-discipline, it is not always very effective. So it is very crucial that you use it sparingly. There are better techniques to deny, deter, or discipline your kid than always saying a big “no”. We hope that these 20 tips and tricks mentioned above will help your tot to listen to you without you using the N word.
How many times do you say no to your child in a day? How do you effectively discipline your child> SO share your experience in the comments section below.

Busy lives and hectic schedules do not allow us to have a lot of time with our children. Come the weekend, and, we all want to spend some quality time with the kids and the family. This article provides ten ideas to help you to spend some quality time with your child.

In This Article

• Benefits of Spending Time With Kids
• 10 Ideas to Spend Quality Time With Kids Over the Weekend at Home

Benefits of Spending Time With Kids

All kids yearn for their parents’ attention. Kids love to be the center of the world for their parents. Spending time with children makes them more settled and secure and holds a great value for encouraging bonding between the parents and the children. However, carving quality time with kids is not easy for parents and needs some planning.

Undivided attention, even if it is for short spans in a day or a week, lets parents feel closer to their kids, developing empathy for them and understanding them better. And the more parents understand the kids, the easier it is to make kids understand the parents.

10 Ideas to Spend Quality Time With Kids Over the Weekend at Home

When parents enter the kid’s world of excitement and imagination, listen to their stories of curiosity and awe, and surrender completely to them, the relationship transforms in such a way that kids experience life deeply.

So, here are intermediate ideas for spending a Friday evening or getting into the weekend mode along with your tiny tots. These ideas will create a lifetime of memories, as you optimize the quality of time spent with the kids.

1. Plan a Crazy Evening

Kids come back home with their usual routine with tired faces and heavy bags. How about giving them a crazy evening? Like, face painting together. Both mom and the child can just wear some old pajamas and keep newspapers on the floor as a precautionary measure. Now give your child the freedom of painting your face. You can paint them back as well! All it takes is a neat bath for you, and your child becomes excited to the core.

The same craze can be done by hand painting (on paper) / fabric painting (with our old clothes) or painting all empty boxes (like vim box/coin box). Playing with paints and color on anything is just fun and this boosts your child’s creativity.

[Read: Painting For Development of Your Child]

2. Plan for a Kids Movie With Mom and Kids Gang

It can either be your friends and all kids or the best is to have your kid and his/her friends with mommies, the kids can enjoy their cartoon movie where moms can do their “getting along” chit chat. This is best in a theater if your little master is so cooperative, or you can arrange a playdate at your home.

[Read: 25 Movies To Watch With Kids This Holiday Season]

3. Kids Date at Home

If you are planning to do an end-to-end cleaning of the house over the weekend, then this Friday is the best time to invite your little one’s buddies home for a playdate. Buckets of popcorn, some fresh juice, some finger foods should make the party yummy for the little tummies. They can just get the baby hangover by spending fun time with their friend’s post which you can happily clean the house before putting that “Be clean” board.

[Read: Tips to Organize Playdate for Your Preschooler]

4. Gardening

Engaging in gardening is one of the ways to spend quality time with your child. You can spend some time with your child on planting a few plants, watering, and clicking pics to track the progress. Each weekend can be a routine few minutes of gardening. This will make your child conscious about the environment and she will always feel close to nature.

5. Make a  Video

The latest trend is here to color your weekend crazy. Bring out the little director in your little one and make a small movie video or reels. That will make you laugh out loud.

6. Rain Play / Bubble Play

If it is a rainy day, don’t miss the chance to get back to your childhood with your kids. Switch on the geyser, get the towel and hairdryer ready and go out, play with nature along with your kids.

What if it’s not raining or your child might easily catch a cold? The substitute is Bubble play. Get the weapons set to make the place soapy, but it’s another game that takes you to childhood.

7. Time for Some Fashion

How about you spend a nice time in a pedicure or a spa and the little one working out on a new makeover? New looks always give new energy.

8. Cook with Your Child

When a child is around, “cooking” is a scary word. But, have you thought of making a fruit salad Cassata with the kid? Or a smoothie? Or a bread pudding? Try the fun, you will admire your little chef seriously working around with the slurpy tongue.

All you have to do is choose a dish that has no cooking and smoke around. Also, keep the electric appliances and sharp objects out of reach of your child. Planning to cook with your child? Click here.

9. May be a Good Habit

A piggy bank habit or learning with fun kinds of activities? Only if your little one is in a nerdy mood 🙂 You get map puzzles or spell bees online. Get on the laptop or the system and you will get loads of activities to choose from.

10. Fun With Technology

Today’s kids can be our teachers when it comes to ideas to play with technology, do some funny app time with the kid, and be obedient students to your little master.

Have you chosen your option from the list? 🙂

Happy Parenting!