Once you and your partner have decided to have a baby, it is natural to feel impatient, frustrated and be thoroughly disappointed when you are not able to conceive in a few months. Unlike movies, the real time scenario of making babies is pretty different, and patience plays a vital part here.
10 Tips To Deal With The Disappointment Of Not Being Pregnant
Pregnancy planning marks a major change in one’s life, and if it takes longer then what you expected, disappointment is sure to creep in even the most lovable and close couples. The key is to understand that you are a team, and refrain from blaming each other. You should maintain sanity and respect for each other, and be the support system. Always remember : It takes 2 to make a baby.
Here are some tips to deal with the disappointment and stay positive:
- Feel the pain: Realize that it is quite natural for you to feel sad, unfair and hurt. For a short time, accept the pain and feel bad. While this might sound like a strange tip, accepting and feeling your hurt for a short time is much better than denying and bottling it up for a longer time. Accept and move on
- Throw the guilt out of the window: There is no point blaming yourself or your partner. Do not think that you waited too long to try. Do not thing that karma is catching up with you for aborting a child previously when you were not ready or taking contraceptive pills. Life doesn’t take revenge like that! You are just someone – like scores of others – who are all trying to be a mother. Blame game doesn’t help in the least. Refrain from it, and make it sure
- Be realistic: Do not expect to get pregnant in the first trial. Although that does happen, statistics show that only about 25% women get pregnant the first month of trying. Hey, this is not a movie! 60% women get pregnant in six monthsa and about 90% in 18 months. So if age is on your side, you have nothing to worry for the first 1.5 years
- Talk to your partner: Your partner’s physical and emotional well-being is as important as yours. Talk to each other about your disappointment and find ways to relax together. It is possible that your stress is building up on your spouse, after all you are so close to each other. Make sure that both of you are on the same page when trying for a baby. And are tuned in into each other’s feelings
- Stop the obsession: Take a break. If you are getting obsessed with your ovulation cycle and planning scheduled sex, consider relaxing a bit. When you are too worried about getting pregnant, chances are you won’t. And when you stop trying so hard, sex becomes more about love and fun than getting pregnant, and your body might just surprise you by getting you pregnant! Never treat sex as a chore just to get pregnant. Shower some love, some romance and a bit of spice, and your hormones will respond positively
- Stay healthy: Exercise regularly, eat healthy on time and sleep enough. No point ruining your health worrying about not getting pregnant. In fact, that would just delay things further. Since you are trying to get pregnant, always keep yourself at your healthiest best, ready for the baby
- Find new things to do: This will keep your mind off things (as a further note to tip #5). Engage yourself in a new hobby or find a new one. Read. Travel. Do some DIY home improvement projects. Bake. Anything that will help you to stay positive and happy
- Feel happiness for others: It is but natural to feel a bit unfair when your friends and cousins talk about getting pregnant as if it was a walk in the park. If you want to avoid a baby shower or two, it is quite understandable. But do not garner negativity in your mind. Remember, it will be your turn to get pregnant soon
- Laugh: Laughter is the best medicine, and an even better healer. Go for a funny movie, read a humorous novel or just watch a comedy show. Keep the funny bone tickling
- Get help: If you have been trying for over 2 years, then don’t hesitate to consult a doctor – both for yourself and your partner. If you are over 35 years of age, then it is wise to see a doctor sooner and not wait for 2 years. Some of the factors that you need to be aware of for conceiving successfully are:
- Timing it right
- Understanding the age factor
- Managing any weight issues
- Maintaining a positive attitude
- Accepting the changes as a couple
For more information on these factors, and others, please read: Everything Looks Normal, Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? and Trying To Get Pregnant: Facing Roadblocks?.